


Sweetest Goodbye

by HarleyRose



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ... or is he?, AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Baddly Written Fight scene, Cheating, Communitation, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Hallelujah, Heartache, Heartbreak, Langst, Lotor is an Amazing Boyfriend, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Slight Smut, These boys are so bad with emotions, Unrequited Love, but not really?, klangst, nothing too graphic, pinning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 18:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 42,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12195606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleyRose/pseuds/HarleyRose
Summary: “It’s just a thought, alright? If you don’t want to then we can forget I ever brought it up.”Lance was quiet for a long time. He had never seen the appeal of friends with benefits relationships, but he had always been a romantic. Lance had always wanted to fall in love with someone as deeply as his parents were. He wanted someone to love him as much as he loved them. The kind of love that lasted a life time, that was filled with laughter, that held strong through anything. He didn’t do one-night stands or casual sex. He didn’t see the appeal in sleeping with someone you barely knew and had little to no feelings for.But Lance knew Keith. And Lance had so much feelings for Keith that he could hardly stand it some days.“Ok, let’s do it.”-Lance and Keith have been friends since high school and Lance has loved him for almost as long. After a drunken night together, Keith suggests they become friends with benefits. Lance's poor pinning heart never thought he could have Keith in this way and agrees. Turns out regularly sleeping with someone you love who doesn't love you back is much more painful then just pinning.





	1. Chapter 1

Lance woke up in a bed that wasn’t his. To the surprise of no one, this was not a common occurrence.

 

It certainly wasn’t the first time this has happened. He’s had more luck with love in college then he ever did in high school even if the relationships had been short and more casual then anything else. The thing is though, Lance wasn’t in a relationship with anyone at the moment and he wasn’t a one-night stand kinda guy.

 

And it was only in his wildest dreams and fantasies that he would wake up in bed next to _Keith Kogane_.

 

Keith was a bit of an asshole, but he was an asshole that Lance had been friends with since the first year of high school and it was a friendship that Lance treasured. Keith was a natural loner and had a quick temper and little to no impulse control, but he was also fiercely protective of the people he cared about and was always doing cool junk and seemed to have a natural talent for everything and was probably the prettiest boy Lance has ever seen.

 

He also drooled in his sleep and Lance could feel it on the side of his chest that Keith had decided to use as a pillow sometime last night, which was, you know, _eww_. Lance was sort of enjoying having Keith cuddled up with him, but also really dreading the moment his friend woke up because last night was __not__ supposed to end this way.

 

Hearing that Keith was moving near Lance was probably the best news he had heard all week. Lance was not ashamed to admit that he was lonely. Sure, his friend Allura was amazing and her family had all but adopted him a minute after meeting him, but it wasn’t enough to fill the space the old gang had left behind. He knew that everyone was busy with their own classes and jobs, but he missed his friends like a lost limb. Hunk and Pidge were going to the same school in their home state of California, Keith had moved down to Nevada to be closer to Shiro, who worked as a teacher at the Galaxy Garrison with Pidge’s brother Matt, and Lance had managed to get accepted into his dream college in New York City.

 

Everyone was determined not to loose touch like a lot of other people did when they went to college. Hunk, Pidge, and Lance texted just about everyday and had skype dates or video chats at least twice a week. Shiro, the eternal big brother/dad of the group, still called him at least once a week to make sure he was doing alright and taking care of himself. Hell, even Matt would hit him up to share some juicy gossip around the Garrison or an embarrassing story about Shiro.

 

Keith however, had all but fell off the face of the Earth.

 

A few months into the start of college, Keith dropped out. He told no one and it was only weeks afterwards that Matt mentioned how worried Shiro was about it to Pidge. Lance had tried to reach out to him, but his calls went unanswered and his texts were ignored. Shiro said that Keith just needed some time alone to sort out his head, but weeks turned to months and no one heard from Keith unless it was through Shiro.

 

Eventually, Lance had to accept that Keith didn’t want his help or friendship.

 

It had hurt. God, it had hurt like a knife twisting in his heart.

 

So getting the call from Shiro was a heaven sent. Keith had decided a change of scenery was what he needed and decided to move up to New York, not that far away from Lance. Shiro, ever the worrier, asked Lance if he would be able to check in on Keith every now and then and maybe help him adjust to the new city. Lance was all too happy to. He helped Keith move into his small apartment and helped him in his job search and took him out to a nice bar when the search ended successfully a few weeks later.

 

And that was how he ended up where he is now.

 

Keith shifted in his sleep and Lance tensed up. Keith inhaled deeply and gave a content sigh, body nuzzling the smallest bit closer to Lance. Lance could only watch with held breath while Keith’s eyes slowly blinked open, his friend becoming more awake by the second.

 

Lance felt Keith’s body go still and fill with tension. He slowly lifted his head and turned to look at him, dark eyes wide but thankfully not angry or scared. Lance swallowed hard.

 

“Lance?” Keith’s voice was husky from sleep. “Wh… What happened last night?”

 

What happened last night? Lance could feel the evidence of what they had done last night dried on his stomach.

 

He could remember little bits and pieces of how exactly that evidence got there too. Could remember drinking way too many shots with Keith and laughing and taking a cab to Keith’s place to sleep off their hangovers. He couldn’t remember the ride or actually getting into the sparsely furnished apartment, be could remember Keith climbing into his lap and moaning into the wet, filthy kiss they shared. He could remember falling onto Keith’s bed, a mess of half undressed limbs and hot kisses.

 

“We went out to a bar,” Lance said slowly, nerves and guilt turning his stomach to lead. “I… I think we drank a little too much.”

 

Keith was silent for a moment, eyes intense and focused on Lance’s face. “We had sex.” Lance nodded, but regretted it in the same second because oww. Hangover headaches sucked ass. “You ok?” Keith asked.

 

“Yeah, I’m good. Are… Are you?”

 

Keith hummed an answer and to Lance’s complete and utter shock, placed a soft kiss to Lance’s shoulder. Keith slowly pushed himself out of bed with a groan, untangled himself from the sheets, and stood up in all his naked glory. Lance’s mouth dropped because __holy shit__. Holy shit, he had sex with that guy last night. Lance pushed himself until he was half sitting up and leaned on his elbows so he could get a better look, because he was creepy like that.

 

“I’m gonna take a quick shower and make breakfast. You can use it after me,” Keith said casually while he grabbed himself a change of clothes. He looked over at Lance before he left the room. He smirked, the evil little tease, at the look on Lance’s face. “We can talk after that, ok?”

 

Lance nodded dumbly, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, and face red.

 

-

 

Keith was a year older then Lance when they met in high school, but they were in the same grade. Keith later tells him that it’s because he had failed the first grade, the same year his dad went missing and he became a foster kid. Keith and his newly adopted family had recently moved to the area and he had switched schools in the middle of the year.

 

Keith was a loner. He kept to himself and didn’t make friends and was just mysterious enough and more then attractive enough to have almost every girl in their grade swooning over him. He wore biker gloves everyday and tight black jeans and was the first person Lance had ever seen make a mullet look good. Girls liked to think of him as a bad boy with a troubled past and a heart that needed healing.

 

Lance thought he was a stuck up jerk who acted like he was too good to talk to anyone.

 

And he kinda hated their biology teacher the day she assigned them to work together on a project worth a quarter of their semester grade and he _really_ didn’t want to do that, because Mrs. Nickson was a really nice lady who always offered extra credit.

 

Hunk and Pidge (a child prodigy who had been bumped up two grades) were mostly indifferent to Keith, but didn’t seem to mind him working in the group with them. Pidge and Keith knew each other because their older brothers were friends, and Hunk seemed to be able to get along with anyone because Hunk was awesome like that. The main issue with their project was that Lance and Keith didn’t get along. They fought over everything and traded insults by the minute and rubbed each other the wrong way. Neither wanted to work together, but none of them wanted a bad grade so Hunk and Pidge forced them to work it out.

 

They got better, over the course of the two week long project. It was like pulling teeth some days, but they began getting along. When the project was over and they got a nice 98%, they went their separate ways and Lance totally didn’t subconsciously look for Keith all the time in their shared classes.

 

They only really became friends when Keith rushed to help Lance out of a bad situation. Somehow, the news of Lance’s bisexuality had spread beyond his little friend group and family and a monster of a senior named Sendak had an issue with it. Lance had been minding his own business when a shove from behind had sent him tumbling down the stairs of his high school and knocking his head onto the edge of one of the steps.

 

He had been half aware of the sounds of a fight happening before someone was picking him up and carrying him, a worried voice calling his name and asking if he was ok before he blacked out. He woke up in the hospital with his family watching him. Lance’s little trip to the hospital revealed that he had a minor concussion, but was otherwise right as rain. He stayed there over night for monitoring, and was on bed rest for a very boring week.

 

Hunk and Pidge later told him that Keith had seen Sendak push Lance down the stairs and had stormed over screaming at Sendak. The fight between them was short, but apparently awesome. Teachers had come to break it up and help Lance, but Keith was already carrying Lance to the nurse and wouldn’t let anyone else take him.

 

Lance’s mama simply couldn’t let Keith go without some kind of reward or thank you for helping her baby, so Lance was stuck delivering a container of fresh, warm cookies to Keith one morning. “And you better appreciate them, my mama had to chase my siblings and me away all morning.” Keith had taken a bite of one of the cookies and his face had gone all soft and pretty and Lance totally didn’t blush.

 

They found out that they had a shared interest in movies and tv and their arguments were suddenly about characters and plots rather then who was more incompetent. They went to a new horror movie together because they didn’t want to go alone and everyone they knew were wusses. They talked about big dreams and small secrets and made bad jokes and turned to each other for comfort and support. Pidge teased them horribly about being a married couple whenever they fought and Hunk would ask if he could be the best man.

 

It was all too easy to fall in love at that point.

 

-

 

“So,” Lance started. “We had sex last night.”

 

“Yep,” Keith replied before sipping his black coffee.

 

Lance shook his head, more at Keith’s horrible life choices regarding coffee then his forced (was it?) casual attitude about sleeping with one of his best friends. “Don’t know how you drink that shit,” he commented. Keith flipped him off and Lance smiled. Maybe last night wouldn’t change them, they could just agree to forget about it and continue on without anything being weird.

 

“Last night was some of the best sex I’ve ever had.”

 

_Oh dear God up in heaven._

 

Lance inhaled so sharply that he chocked on the food in his mouth. He coughed and pounded on his chest to clear his airway while tears sprung to his eyes and Keith snickered into the abyss of sadness that was his coffee.

 

“Fu… Fuck… you!” he managed to gasp out, which just made Keith laugh harder. “You’re an ass!”

 

“Yeah,” Keith agreed with a smirk. “but I’m an ass who just had very satisfying sex last night. From what I can remember anyway.”

 

Lance hid his face in his hands and groaned. Keith was messing with him, he had to be messing with him. “Don’t say that!”

 

Keith was quiet for a long moment while Lance tried to gain some sense of composure or dignity. He wasn’t picky. When Lance finally did look up, Keith was biting at his bottom lips and twisting his cup in his hands. He took a big breath before speaking again.

 

“I wouldn’t mind a repeat, you know. Of last night.”

 

“You… You’re not serious!”

 

“Yeah, I am,” Keith protested, sounding almost offended. At Lance’s shocked silence, Keith gave a huff. “Look, I don’t really do relationships. You know I never have and I still don’t. But the sex was great. I know you aren’t seeing anyone right now, so wheres the harm? We’ll still be friends, we can just… I don’t know, help each other out sometimes?”

 

“You- what? Want to be friends with benefits?”

 

Keith shrugged and looked away, taking an interest in his food. Lance really needed to pick up his jaw from the floor.  “Oh my God, you’re serious…”

 

Lance got a dirty look in return. “Is that really so hard to believe?”

 

“Uhh yeah! We’ve known each other for years, we’ve been __friends__ for years. I didn’t think you… saw me like that?”

 

Keith rolled his eyes, looking vaguely annoyed and embarrassed. “Shut up Lance, you’re always talking about what a hot catch you are, I’m not adding to your ego.” Holy shit, Keith thought he was hot. “It’s just a thought, alright? If you don’t want to then we can forget I ever brought it up.”

 

Lance was quiet for a long time. He had never seen the appeal of friends with benefits relationships, but he had always been a romantic. Lance had always wanted to fall in love with someone as deeply as his parents were. He wanted someone to love him as much as he loved them. The kind of love that lasted a life time, that was filled with laughter, that held strong through anything. He didn’t do one-night stands or casual sex. He didn’t see the appeal in sleeping with someone you barely knew and had little to no feelings for.

 

But Lance knew Keith. And Lance had so much feelings for Keith that he could hardly stand it some days.

 

“Ok, let’s do it.”

 

-

 

Turns out that the sex is even better when they were both sober.

 

It was also a touch more awkward and a hell of a lot more nerve racking, but Lance treasured every minute of it. He treasured every touch and noise and kiss that he got from Keith.

 

He found out that Keith had a very healthy appetite for sex and Lance was almost overwhelmed by it. It seemed to be Keith’s goal every time they fucked to turn Lance into a mess and damn, was he good at it. Lance had never had sex so intense. He wondered if it was because he hadn’t been in love with his other partners like he was with Keith. It made sense. Keith was the guy he had been pinning over for years.

 

Or maybe it was just that Keith was good at sex, great even. It didn’t matter if Keith was fucking him into the mattress or taking Lance’s cock while he moaned like a porn star, Lance always had the best sex of his life.

 

And he loves it, loves it so much that he wants to drowned in it. He never wants it to end, doesn’t want to go a day without the feeling of Keith’s hot skin under his hands or the thrill of having Keith’s violet eyes watching him like he’s the most beautiful thing in the universe while Lance sucked him off. He doesn’t want to go a day without Keith whispering praises into his ear and making filthy promises in the same breath. He doesn’t want a day without the smell of Keith on his sheets or the taste of his lips.

 

He wants Keith, wants all of him, wants him so bad that his heart aches.

 

But the ache is one that Lance has dealt with for years and he can handle it.

 

-

 

 _‘I got hit on today_ ’

 

Lance had read the text four times since it was sent a minute ago. Five innocent words strung together into a sentence that left Lance in a panic.

 

How do you respond to that? Especially when it came from the guy you’ve known for years who you’ve been sleeping with for the past three weeks? ‘lucky guy ;)’ ‘you heartbreaker ;D’ and ‘brag about it why don’t you lol’ were things Lance could have sent in reply without a thought two months ago. Now though? Was he still supposed to say that or was he allowed to be jealous? No. Jealousy was too much of a ‘boyfriend’ thing. Right? Right?

 

‘ _Creepy old guy looking for a sugar baby or hot chick who thinks your straight? Lol’_ is what he eventually typed out and sent before he could rethink it.

 

It was four long, endless minutes in which Lance questioned every decision in his life leading up to this moment before Keith replied.

 

_‘Guy our age who wanted a date’_

 

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no no no no. How in the hell was he supposed to respond to this now? ‘Please tell me you said no?’ No. Too desperate. ‘Good think you don’t date huh?’ No. That would imply that Lance doesn’t want Keith to date other people. ‘Poor guy. Another victim of Keith Kogane. :’(’ Oh who is Lance even trying to kid, he’s in the same boat as the mystery guy! God damnit, why was talking to Keith so hard now?

 

 _‘Did you turn them down?_ ’ Sent. Before Lance could think too much of it. Aaaaand welcome back to regretting your life decisions in a pit of anxiety. Nice place, love the decor.

 

The little buzz of his phone announced another text. Lance almost hoped the conversation ended soon, his heart couldn’t take it.

 

‘ _Cours I did. I have you’_

 

 _Yeah. Yeah you do, buddy._  Lance threw his arm over his eyes to cover the redness of his face and bit his lip to side a smile while butterflies had a wild party in his chest. _More then you will ever know._

__

__-_ _

“Lance,” Keith whispered against Lance’s ear.

 

Lance ignored the little shiver he gave in response. He had an essay he needed to proof read before sending to his professor in the morning, Keith knew this. Lance had told him this when Keith asked if he could come over, and again when Keith started kissing up his neck ten minutes after he arrived. “I’m busy, Keith. Just play on your phone or something. We can play a video game or watch a movie after ok?”

 

Keith dragged his lips along the shell of Lance’s ear and wrapped his arms around Lance’s shoulders. “But I’m bored. I came over to see you and you’ve been working on your paper the entire time. Take a break.”

 

A kiss was placed on the space under his ear and Keith started moving down his neck again. Lance swallowed the saliva that was suddenly filling his mouth. Maybe just a short break…? No. No, bad Lance. You needed to finish this paper! “I need to finish this Keith, j-just…”

 

Keith ignored him and instead slipped his hand under Lance’s shirt to drag his nails down Lance’s toned stomach. He moved the strap of his tank top over to start sucking at Lance’s shoulder, dragging his teeth across Lance’s skin in the most delicious way and making it hard to thing straight. “Lance,” Keith half moaned. “Take a break. I want you.”

 

Lance nodded, half lost in pleasure and closed his laptop screen shut.

 

Hours later, Lance was half asleep in bed when Keith started putting on his clothes again. Lance lifted his head off the pillow, confused. Was Keith not staying the night?

 

“Where ya going?”

 

“I’m heading home now, good luck on your paper,” Keith said. He kneeled on the bed and leaned down to give Lance a long, slow kiss that made his toes curl and his head spin. He pulled away and give one last peck to Lance’s lips before standing. “See you later, Lance!”

 

Lance flopped back down when Keith was gone, his bed suddenly feeling much colder then it was just a few minutes ago. He was almost asleep when his eyes snapped open in panic. He didn’t finish his essay!

 

-

 

“Hey Lance,” Hunk started. His best friend has moved his laptop into his little kitchenette so they could talk while he cooked himself dinner. “Are you doing ok? You look a little… off?”

 

Oh, if only Hunk knew.

 

Hunk is the best friend a guy could ever want. He has always been very attuned to Lance’s moods and caring enough to want to help and Lance loved him for it. But right now, what Hunk was concerned for wasn’t the usual shitty depression moods Lance would get into sometimes.

 

Lance gave Hunk a grin. “No, I’m good. Stressed as all hell from school and work, but thats the norm now. I’ve just been slacking on my morning beauty regiment, so I look a little less stunning then your use to, buddy.”

 

Hunk pursed his lips and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. He made an unconvinced noise. Lance hated lying to Hunk for many reasons. He always felt icky lying to his best friend and the icky feeling made his usual skilled lies sound fake even to himself. Hunk and his mama were so far the only people Lance had difficulty lying to and both knew him well enough to see right through him. He didn’t even know why he bothered.

 

“You’ll talk to me if it gets worse?”

 

“Yeah,” Lance reluctantly promised. “I will. Just don’t feel like talking about it right now.”

 

But Lance _did_ want to tell Hunk just as badly as he wanted to tell Pidge and Shiro and his family and maybe every random person he met on the street that he was sort of kind of in a relationship (that wasn’t a relationship) with Keith. No, it wasn’t everything he had dreamed of, but it was more then Lance ever thought he would have. He wanted to share the happy news, he wanted everyone he loved to know that he was happy because Keith wanted him back.

 

But he and Keith hadn’t talked about telling the others. Keith hadn’t really brought it up and Lance didn’t want to upset their new thing by putting a label on them and sharing it with everyone. So, they had a mutually unspoken agreement to not tell any of their shared friends.

 

“Thank you. Hey, have you and Keith been hanging out?”

 

Ohh, were they ever. They did more together then they ever did in high school. Video games were replaced with kisses, late night drives turned into quickies in one of their cars, study sessions turned into long hours of hot, hot sex. Lance was honestly thinking he was becoming addicted to the taste of Keith’s skin and the sound of his voice.

 

“Yeah, a few times a week. Has he been talking to you guys more?”

 

Hunk lit up, a big smile coming to his face. “Yeah! He was telling me about his new job and asking about my classes and asked for some easy recipes that wouldn’t lead to him burning his kitchen down again. I was really surprised, but happy, you know? He didn’t really talk to any of us after he dropped out, but I think being around you is really good for him. I’m glad he moved over there by you.”

 

Lance couldn’t hold back the entirely too fond smile on his face even if someone paid him to. “Yeah, I am too.”

 

-

 

Lance woke up to Keith in his bed. He smiled to himself and gave a content sigh. In the weeks since they began sleeping together, this has occurred only two times. Apparently the first time Lance woke up to Keith cuddling close to him had been a fluke. Lance tried not to be disappointed.

 

No one ever said it was easy to be in love with your one of your best friend. And Lance was stupid enough to think sleeping with the guy on a regular bases was a good idea. Seriously? Had his stupid pinning heart made him gone crazy for a few hours to think that was a good idea?

 

But every time Lance got to see Keith like this, relaxed and beautiful, he was reminded that yeah, it was a good idea. He didn’t want to think of a life where he never got to see this.

 

Lance dropped a soft kiss to the back of Keith’s shoulder and slowly got out of bed, careful to not wake his friend. Keith didn’t move or mumble and continued to be dead to the world. Lance smiled to himself as he made his way to the bathroom, years of babysitting his nieces and nephews left him an expert in not waking people up when you leave the bed and he’s still got it.

 

Once he was done in the bathroom, Lance got started on a late breakfast for two. He didn’t have any classes until the late afternoon and didn’t have work today so he was free to do what he wanted. Maybe Keith would want to chill with him for the day? It felt like its been forever since they last had a day like that, filled with horror movies and video games and greasy pizza. It would be nice.

 

He just finished poring the scrambled eggs into the frying pan when Keith stumbled out of his bedroom looking confused and blinking sleep out of his eyes. Lance gave him a bright smile before turning to flip the bacon. “Good morning,” he chirped. “Breakfast will be done in a few. How did you sleep?”

 

“... I spent the night?” Keith said slowly. He was wearing the clothes he came in last night and had lines from the pillow on his cheek. Lance chuckled at him and turned back to the eggs while Keith sat down at the little island counter that served as his table for the time being.

 

“Yep. Little slow in the mornings, huh Keith? You want coffee?”

 

Keith grunted a yes and Lance grabbed one of his mugs to pore the black (like most of Keith’s wardrobe) coffee in. He handed the mug off and leaned in for a short kiss. Keith’s eyes shut and he leaned into the kiss when Lance started to pull away. The kiss lasted longer then the peck Lance had intended it to be but he was perfectly fine with that because, damn, is Keith a good kisser. The kiss remained chaste and left Lance sighing, more content then he could ever remember being.

 

When they parted, Lance smiled at Keith and was far too full of adoration to bother hiding it. “Good morning,” he said softly.

 

Keith watched him for a long moment before standing up suddenly from the chair. He put his mug down so quick that a few drops spilled out. “I have to go.”

 

Lance blinked, confused. “Huh? But breakfast is almost-”

 

“I have to go,” Keith said again, not looking at Lance. He grabbed his jacket from where he had thrown it on the couch last night and rushed to put his shoes on. “Bye, Lance,” he called out before all but running out the door.

 

Lance was left staring after him, confused and hurt, before the smell of burning eggs brought him back to real life.

 

-

 

_‘Can I come over’_

 

Lance smiled at the text and sent _‘Yep! I’m just watching movies. Wanna join:)’_

 

Lance hadn’t seen much of Keith in the past week. Classes and homework and his job were slowly consuming his social life and killing his soul. His only comfort was that he wasn’t alone in his suffering. Allura (who was an actual goddess) had been sporting dark eye bags and messy hair earlier that day while they studied at the universities library. Thankfully, Lance handled stress better then she did and __didn’t__ go into a ballistic rage at the frat boy who tried to take her coffee away so she would talk to him like she had.

 

Keith arrived twenty minutes after Lance sent the text. He was pushing himself into Lance’s tiny apartment and pushing Lance against the wall seconds after the door opened. He moaned into the kiss, hands sliding down Lance’s chest before settling on his hips. Lance kissed back after a second, still dazed from the sudden intensity.

 

“Keith-” Lance tried to start when Keith pulled back. He stopped when he saw the look in Keith’s eyes. His pupils were blown and his eyes were dark as he looked at Lance. His face was flushed and he was panting a bit from the kiss.

 

“I want you,” he said and _holy fuck_. His voice was hot and husky and made a shiver go down Lance’s spine because he was so _weak_ for this boy. “It’s been days. I want you so _fucking_ bad, Lance. Can we?”

 

Lance could only nod dumbly before throwing himself at Keith and kissing the breath out of him. Keith groaned into the kiss and pressed Lance back against the wall. The movie continued to play in the living room, completely forgotten.

****

****-** **

****

Lunch dates with Allura were always fun. Allura was a goddess among women and Lance has seen men walk into walls (and a water fountain once) because they were so blinded by her beauty. Lance couldn’t even blame them because he had almost tripped and landed flat on his face the first time he saw her.

 

Allura was a sweet and commanding girl from a wealthy family who grew up in a fantasy boarding school in London and as a result had an accent that made people weak at the knees and an extremely sheltered life. She relied on Lance to explain a lot of social ques and ‘normal’ things to her, like how you tip at restaurants but not at fast food places and introducing her to blanket forts and cheep junk food and the satisfaction of eating half burnt food that you cooked yourself.

 

Lance was grateful for Allura’s friendship especially now because he couldn’t talk to his other friends about him and Keith, but Allura was safe ** **.****

****

Allura was also very concerned and kinda disappointed. She had been wanting to play match maker for him and a friend of hers who would be moving to New York in a few months.

 

“I thought that you didn’t think highly of… these kinds of relationships? We watched that movie about it.”

 

Lance flushed and sipped his sweat tea. Allura was like him, an utterly hopeless romantic. But while Lance wanted to have the experience of a love that lasted forever, Allura seemed to only admire it in films and stories. She had little to no interest in dating and would only say ‘maybe if I meet the right person’ when Lance asked her about it. “Yeah, I know. It’s just… It’s _Keith_ , Allura!”

 

Allura rose one of her perfect eyebrows at him, an utterly unimpressed look on her face.

 

Ok, so just saying that it was Keith who he was sleeping with wasn’t enough of an explanation. Lance sighed and pushed the ice cubes in his drink around with the straw. “I’ve been crazy for him since high school. He’s my first love and I always just thought that… I don’t know, he was too far out of my league to even entertain the idea of it being possible? So when he asked if I wanted to I just- I didn’t really think it over before I agreed.”

 

Allura nodded her head slowly. She was frowning a bit, the corners of her lips pulled down. “Do you wished you hadn’t agreed?”

 

“I…” Lance bit his lip and took a deep breath. “I don’t know? I don’t know if my answer would have been different even if I had thought it through. First love, remember. Well… Only. Keith’s the only one I’ve been in love with.”

 

“Oh, Lance,” Allura said softly.

 

She she was such a good friend and she looked so unbearably sad and Lance had caused it. So he forced a little laugh and smiled for her. “I’ll be fine, Allura, I promise. I’ll end things with Keith if I can’t handle it. Now, tell me about that friend of yours, the one you met at boarding school in London. If he’s cute enough then Keith may have competition,” he said with a flirty smile and a wink that made Allura smile and launch into a story about Letho or something.

 

-

 

Keith seemed to love touch during sex with Lance. He didn’t seem happy if he wasn’t touching as much of Lance’s skin as possible. If Keith had it his way, they would be tangled in each other so tightly that Lance didn’t know where he began and Keith ended. Lance quickly found out that Keith didn’t like having his hands tied in any way, but everything else seemed fine. He would whine in protest if Lance was too far away or he wasn’t allowed to touch.

 

Lance loved it. He loved that Keith wanted him, he relished in it. He held Keith close while they fucked and enjoyed the feeling of his skin and body being worshiped.

 

That being said, Keith seemed to shy away from intimate contact if it didn’t have to do with sex. Once their hearts had stopped pounding and their breathing was back to normal, he went right back to his usual prickly self. Keith had never been an overly touchy guy. He liked his space and rarely initiated touch with other people. He accepted hugs from Hunk (who gave the best hugs ever and if you disagree you can fight Lance in the fucking pit) and seemed to soak up any affection given by Shiro like desert sand does water, but that was the extent. Lance had never pushed Keith’s boundaries on that, had traded hugs for high fives and bit his tongue instead of offering to fix Keith’s hair.

 

Lance had tried, he really had. Just about every time they slept together Lance tried to cuddle, but Keith would only tolerated it for a few minutes before wiggling away. Keith would get up and clean himself up and had shied away from Lance when he offered to help the first few times. He would get dressed again, kiss Lance goodbye, and be gone until he wanted sex again.

 

Keith would either avoid Lance’s touch or would immediately push it into sexual boundaries. If Lance tried to stroke or fix Keith’s hair, his friend would flinch away and give Lance a bewildered look. Lance would smile, laugh, and say Keith had some lint in his hair. If Lance leaned against Keith or rested his head on his shoulder, Keith would slip his hand under Lance’s shirt and drag him in for a kiss.

 

Lance was in no way complaining.

 

Ok, maybe a little.

 

He was being stupid, Lance knew this. Whatever he and Keith had between them wasn’t mutually romantic - that was just Lance. Keith wasn’t a relationship guy, he wasn’t a particularly touchy guy either, and Lance shouldn’t be bothered by the fact that Keith didn’t like to cuddle.

 

-

 

 _‘U at hom e’_ was the text Lance got from Keith at 11:48 that night. He hadn’t thought much of it and had sent a quick ‘ _Yeah why?’_ in reply. He didn’t get a response until more then half an hour later when someone started knocking on his door.

 

He found a red faced Keith on the other side of his door, dressed like he was going out clubbing and smelling like alcohol. Keith swayed and blinked at Lance a few times before smiling. “Lance,” he slurred out.

 

“Keith? Buddy, are you drunk?” Lance asked.

 

Keith blinked at him again and Lance could almost see the loading bar processing his question. “I’m… ’m drunk,” Keith finally slurred out. Then he giggled like he had just heard a great joke and had to grab a hold of Lance’s door frame to stop himself from falling over when he stumbled.

 

Lance was thankful that Keith was a happy drunk instead of an angry one like he use to suspect he was. The guy had anger issues when _sober_ , so that would make since right? But no. Lance’s logic made him loose twenty bucks to Matt during sophomore year of high school.

 

“Come on, man, you can crash here for the night. You can either take the couch or you can share the bed with me. What’s it gonna be?”

 

Keith hummed at him, eyelids heavy. “With you,” he answered with a little nod. Lance tried not to be so damn _pleased_ to hear that.

 

Keith followed after Lance and only almost stumbled into Lance’s wall once on the trip to the kitchen. Lance made Keith drink at least two glasses of water and eat a few of the stale crackers he had before he was satisfied and Keith did so with minor complaining. Lance is just glad that he had already finished all his homework and was getting ready for bed himself before Keith came over.

 

“Where were you drinking anyway?” Lance asked while Keith struggled to pull his shirt off. Drunk and stuck wasn’t a good mix and Keith proved it. He shouldn’t laugh. He knew he shouldn’t laugh. But fuck.

 

A little giggle finally broke free when Keith huffed and asked for help. “Laaance,” he whined. Lance smiled entirely too fond and was glad that Keith’s head was covered by his shirt and he couldn’t see the stupid look on his face. Lance walked over and had Keith sit on his bed so he could help when Keith answered his question. “Was at a bar… Fun place, we should go sometime… If you wanna.”

 

“Yeah,” Lance agreed easily. “Sounds fun, buddy.”

 

With a final tug, the shirt came off. Keith was still flushed and had a dazed and confused look on his face, blinking his pretty eyes up at Lance. His hair was an absolute mess, sticking up in every direction with static from rubbing along the material of his shirt. 

 

Lance couldn’t stop the laughter that built in his throat. “Sorry,” Lance laughed. He smiled down at Keith sheepishly. It sucked getting laughed at when you were drunk.

 

He expected Keith to tell him to shut up or at least be pouting, but his friend was watching him with an almost awestruck look on his face. 

 

Hestood and was pressing his lips to Lance’s with a speed that was surprising considering his current state. Lance made a startled noise against Keith’s lips. Soft hands cupped his jaw before threading into his hair. Keith tasted like cheap beer and sour alcohol and his half naked body was hot. Keith licked at Lance’s lower lip and pressed himself flushed against Lance.

 

Lance turned away from the kiss and grabbed Keith’s arms to pull them away. “No. You are very, very drunk, Keith.”

 

Keith’s eyes widened and his brows went down in confusion. “But I want you…”

 

“You aren’t thinking clearly at the moment,” Lance said patiently.

 

Keith started to look distressed. He swallowed hard and blinked rapidly. He didn’t fight Lance to free his arms, but did try to press his body against him again. “Don’t you want me? Lance? Don’t you?”

 

Lance sighed. “Yeah, but not when you’re drunk. Look, can we just… can we just sleep? It’s late and I’m tired.”

 

Keith bit his lower lip and lowered his head against his head like a kid getting scolded. He didn’t say anything, but did lay down on the bed and didn’t push for sex again. Lance sighed again, half relieved and half resigned to a night pressed against a half naked beauty.

 

Lance finished getting dressed for bed, forgoing his face mask since he wore it last night and brushing his teeth before crawling into bed by Keith. Keith kept his back to Lance the entire night, but he didn’t protest when Lance pulled him close to cuddle.

 

-

 

“Somethings going on,” Pidge said. Her amber eyes were squinting at him through his laptop screen and her lips were pursed.

 

“Nah,” Lance smirked at his friend. “You always get paranoid when you don’t get enough sleep. Go take a nap, you gremlin.”

 

Pidge’s squint turned into a glare. It wasn’t nearly as terrifying as she thought, but Lance knew first hand how dangerous she could be. She once hacked into some jerks cellphone in high school and made it play furry porn at full volume nonstop when he turned it on. He couldn’t get it to turn off and just ended up panicking and throwing it against the wall to get it to shut off.

 

“Fuck you, you don’t tell me how to live my life,” she said almost proudly while crossing her arms over her chest. She was quiet for a second before opening one of her eyes to peek at him “Please don’t tell Hunk or Matt?”

 

Lance laughed. “Alright, but you gotta help me with my math homework. My professor is a sadist who gets off on our suffering, I swear to god.”

 

Pidge snickered at his misfortune before sobering. “For real though, are you ok? You gotta tell me man, I can’t do that mind reading thing Hunk does.”

 

Lance smiled at Pidge, touched that she cared. School hadn’t been as bad for the past week and work was alright. He knew very well what was making him feel so low and it started with ‘K’ and ended with ‘eith’.

 

But he couldn’t tell Pidge that. She has never handled emotions well, her own or other peoples. She has on occasion up and ran from a room when someone started crying and listening to him whine about a fucked up situation that he put himself into wasn’t something she would want.

 

He could probably tell Hunk, but his friend didn’t handle conflicts within their little group very well. He could remember once when Keith and Pidge were fighting and Hunk had been convinced that this was what would break their new little group. He had worried and over-thought everything and tried to help as best as he could. He would call Lance late at night when he couldn’t sleep because of his anxieties. Pidge and Keith eventually worked out their issues and apologized and no one was happier (and more sleep deprived) then Lance.

 

Shiro was a big no. Shiro was a great guy and a good friend to Lance, but he took his position as Keith’s older brother _very seriously_. If Lance called him up crying that Keith was breaking his heart, Shiro would remind him that Keith was in no way at fault. He would remind Lance that his little brother didn’t do relationships and had been clear that he didn’t want one with Lance, who should have known better then to do this to himself. Shiro can be kinda mean when it came to Keith.

 

“Aww, I knew you had a heart somewhere in there!” Lance cooed. Pidge gave him the finger and Lance gave her an innocent grin, pure as an angel. “I’m good, I’m good. Now about this math homework.”

 

-

 

Lance was tired. He was so so _tired_.

 

He had a two hour lecture from a professor who had the most monotone voice ever, his part time job at the sea food restaurant had called and demanded he come in, he had to work with Tom (who liked to take long breaks, left Lance to wait on his tables, and still got half the tips), someone had almost ran him over while he was leaving work, and he still had homework to do. He was exhausted and drained and really just wanted a nap.

 

But he also wanted Keith.

 

More specificity, he wanted to cuddle Keith. He wanted to hold Keith while they laid on his bed and Lance fell asleep while he was warm in Keith’s arms, the smell of his clothes and skin surrounding him, and Keith ran his fingers through Lance’s hair.

 

He wanted that so badly he could cry.

 

But Keith only ever seemed to have more carnal activities in mind when they spent time together now. He never seemed to be in a mood to hug Lance and listen to his whining about a bad day, but he was always in a mood to help work out some stress. Maybe if Lance got lucky, Keith would be tired enough to cuddle after. So Lance sent a text and ate some left overs and waited for Keith to come over.

 

He didn’t disappoint. Keith didn’t ask what had Lance so stressed and looking so tired, maybe he didn’t notice. Or maybe he did? It would explain why the sex was so slow. _No, he probably wouldn’t have cared even if he had noticed,_ a vicious little voice whispered in the back of his mind.

 

-

 

Lance knew many things about Keith. He knows that he never knew his mom and still wonders where his dad is. He knows that he loves Shiro and fears disappointing him more then anything else. He knows Keith wants to own a hover bike of his own one day and work for the Garrison like Shiro does. He knows that Keith has a knife that use to be his moms and he’s almost never without it. He knows his favorite color is red and he hates chocolate and that he thinks hippos are cool.

 

He knows Keith hated people seeing him cry or look weak. He knows that Keith’s hair was some of the softest Lance had even felt and that Keith’s eyes turn a bright, undeniable purple when the light hit them just right. He knows that Keith is one of the most beautiful people he knows.

 

But now Lance knew things he had only fantasized about before. He knew Keith liked it when Lance pulled his hair and talked dirty in his ear. Keith liked to bite and leave marks all over Lance’s shoulders and inner thighs. He knew that Keith has scars on his knuckles and the insides of his thighs that he doesn’t want to ever talk about. He knew Keith loves it when Lance rides him slowly. He knew Keith loves to touch his skin and get fucked hard and fast.

 

Lance learned how to give Keith pleasure and make him scream and keep him coming back.

 

Lance learned a long time ago to bite his tongue instead of telling Keith that he loves him.

 

Lance would be ok as long as Keith kept coming back.

 

-

 

The club was one that Keith recommended and Lance had to admit, he was having fun. The music was good and the drinks were better. Lance was just on the right side of tipsy. Sober enough to know what he was doing but drunk enough to forget his worries and heartache and just enjoy the moment. And was it ever a moment. Keith was never much of a dancer, Lance could remember literally dragging him to dances and proms in high school, but tonight he was the one dragging Lance out for a dance.

 

Apparently Keith was on the right side of tipsy too. He was grinning and dancing and hadn’t taken his hands off Lance since they joined the sea of dancers. In fact, Keith couldn’t seem to keep anything off Lance. Keith pressed himself close to Lance, rocked his hips in the way that always made Lance’s blood rush, and couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted his arms around Lance’s shoulders, in his hair, or to let his hands roam free and touch everywhere he could.

 

Keith was beautiful. Lance always knew that, but sometimes it hit him hard. Keith looked beautiful in the dancing lights of the club, with his long hair wild and messy, with flushed cheeks and a big grin, and with beads of sweat forming on his forehead and sliding down his throat. Lance’s throat went dry at the sight and a shiver went down his spine despite the heat.

 

Lance was reminded of just how lucky he was to be the one Keith wanted. He felt like he was the envy of all tonight, to have a beauty like Keith pressed against him. If he wanted, he could lick the bead of sweat off Keith’s skin and he knew it would make Keith tilt his head back in a quiet plea for more.

 

“I’m gonna go get a water,” Lance said loud enough to be heard over the music. He needed to cool down before he was the one dragging Keith into his car tonight. Keith was a temptation and he knew it, but Lance didn’t want the night to end just yet.“You want one?”

 

Keith shook his head and let his hands slid from Lance’s hair. “Hurry back!” he said.

 

Lance nodded and turned away to find the long bar that was crowded with people. Three bartenders rushed around making drinks for people behind it. Lance managed to squeeze his way in and waved to one of the bartenders. The curvy blond girl in a crop top noticed him and gave a nod. Leaning against the bar, he managed to find Keith in the crowd while he continued to dance. Keith didn’t have the fancy moves or a natural grace with his movements, but Lance couldn’t look away from him.

 

“Hey, cutie, what can I get for ya?”

 

Lance turned to find the blond bartenders smiling at him. She was pretty, really pretty actually. Long blond hair pulled away from a soft angelic face and big blue eyes that looked purple in the lighting of the club. Her name tag read ‘Nyma’ in bold letters.

 

Lance gave her a smile. “Just a bottle of water would be great, its kinda hot in here.”

 

Nyma nodded and ducked down beneath the bar for a second before standing with a bottled water. “Free of charge for you, handsome.” Lance gave a startled laugh, but he sure as hell wasn’t gonna complain. They probably charged five bucks for a water here.

 

“I have a question though,” she said. She kept her hands busy while she worked, preparing drinks to hand off to her coworkers with ease. “Are you here with Keith?”

 

Lance gave a startled look. “Yeah, you know him?”

 

Nyma gave a crooked smile and an amused scoff. “Yeah, just about everyone who works here does. I didn’t think you were his type though.”

 

“His… His type?”

 

“Yeah, Keithy-boy always seems to go after the rouged type. Don’t get me wrong though, you’re a cutie,” she said with a flirty smile. Lance felt something very cold creep into the pit of his stomach, stealing away the warmth and the all consuming heat Keith had given him just minutes ago.

 

Lance forced a little laugh, returning her smile. “Keith’s a friend of mine,” he said casually as if his heart wasn’t in his throat and his stomach wasn’t twisting. “Do you see him in here often?”

 

Nyma nodded and slid a pink and yellow cocktail to her coworked. The guy muttered another order in her ear and she started pulling out shot glasses. “I don’t work every night, so I can’t be sure how often he’s really in here, but at least once a week. He always stays until he finds some guy to take him home after a few drinks.”

 

“He never leaves alone?” Lance asked, feeling ill. She has to be lying, she has to be. Keith wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

 

“Nope!” Nyma said, popping the p in the word. “You’re the first one he’s come with, but don’t be surprised if you get ditched. If he does though, you come find me,” she said with a wink. She leaned across the bar to be closer to Lance. “I’m great company. I promise.” Nyma then walked across the bar with her platter of shots, a sway in her hips.

 

Lance abandoned his water and ran out of the bar. He needed air. There were too many people around him. Was he going to be sick? His stomach was rolling and in knots, his eyes burned. She had to have been lying. Keith wasn’t the type to sleep around. He had never had flings or one night stands in high school, hadn’t really seemed interested in romance at all.

 

But he wasn’t exactly interested in romance now was he? He had made that very clear when he and Lance started sleeping together. And what would stop Keith from going to other men for sex? He owed Lance nothing. They had never talked about being exclusive and it would have made no sense for him to promise loyalty to someone who was just sex to him.

 

Tears burned at Lance’s eyes.

 

-

 

He found a string of texts from Keith a few hours later once he finally reached outside of his blankets for his phone.

 

_‘Lance did u leave?’_

_‘Srsly where r u?’_

_‘OMFG u left!’_

_‘DICK’_

_‘U so owe me im going home’_

_‘U could have just said u werent having fun’_

_‘R u ok?’_

 

Lance was not ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god this fic is a lot bigger then I originally thought it would be. At first I was just going to do a oneshot, but the first chapter alone is more then 9,000 words, so I had to break this thing down into chapters for you guys.
> 
> I love to read comments and you can find me on Tumblr here: likeaslaptotheface.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

Keith was the one who enjoyed leaving marks on Lance. He left love bites everywhere he could and sometimes left bruises on Lance’s hips. He liked biting at Lances thighs and hips. Every time they slept together Lance would wake up with new marks. Sometimes Keith would touch the marks he left in a soft caress, like he was admiring his work. Sometimes Keith would place little kisses over those bruises like an apology before making new ones.

 

Lance had loved it.

 

He had never complained the few times Lance had left his own marks on him. He had never asked him not to suck hickeys into his shoulder and honestly seemed to enjoy it when Lance would bite him. Lance wasn’t much of a biter though and he was normally careful enough to avoid leaving marks behind.

 

But now?

 

Lance couldn’t seem to _stop_ leaving marks on Keith’s beautiful skin. He would drag his short nails down Keith’s back to make him gasp. He would bite into his pale shoulders while he came. He would would leave lines of hickeys down Keith’s firm chest and abs.

 

‘MINE’ he screamed with every mark. He wanted the other guys Keith was fucking to know that he already belonged to someone, was already being satisfied by someone else.

 

He was really, very pathetic.

 

Lance tried to pay closer attention to any mark that was on Keith. Any bruises he left on his hips, any bite or hickey he left on his pale neck and shoulders, the scratches he left along Keith’s back. He didn’t find any new marks, nothing faded or too new for him to have made. Maybe Keith didn’t like other guys marking him?

 

 _Big whoop,_ a little voice told him, _you’re the one allowed to mark him. So what? It doesn’t make you special or mean anything. You still aren’t the only one. How many other guys have had the same treatment from Keith that you do?_ Lance has been listening to that little voice more often and less to the optimistic one. The little voice is an asshole, but it’s an honest one and brutal honesty may be what Lance needs.

 

He doesn’t say anything to Keith about the other guys and neither does Keith. He got himself tested for STDs and was relieved to get clean results and began insisting they use condoms. They continue to fuck and Keith continues to leave once he’s had what he came for and Lance finds himself choking back tears on a nightly bases in a lonely bed that smelt like Keith and sex.

 

-

 

“Lance?” Keith asked through his heavy panting. He kneeling between Lance’s legs, looking down at him with dark eyes. His lips were red from their kissing and his hair was a mess from Lance’s hands pulling at it. “Are… Are you alright?”

 

“Fine. Impatient to get this show on the road, but fine,” Lance said shortly. He wound his arms across Keith’s shoulders and pulled him down until their chests were flush against each other once again. “Just fuck me already, I need it.”

 

“Wait, wait,” Keith protested. He began to pull away from Lance. “You don’t… You don’t look fine at all. You looked like you were going to cry a second ago. Am I hurting you?”

 

Lance gave a short scoff that could have been a laugh or could have been a sob. “I must look pretty horrible if you’re noticing,” he said sounding bitter even to his own ears.

 

Keith’s worried look turned offended. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

 

Lance shook his head. He didn’t want to start a fight, he just wanted to forget what a fucked up situation this was and lose himself to pleasure for a while. He gave the best smile he could. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, buddy, but you aren’t the best at reading emotions. I’m fine, Keith. I just had a bad day.”

 

“Oh, umm,” Keith stuttered out. He suddenly looked unsure and kept glancing away from Lance. “If… If you don’t want to then I can go?”

 

The possibility of him leaving made Lance want to shout and cling to Keith and beg him not to leave again. Some part of him screamed that if Keith left now he wouldn’t be back. Would Keith stop everything if he wasn’t benefiting? Would Lance be easily replaced by another? If he cant even make Keith feel good, what was the point?

 

Lance dragged his fingers through Keith’s thick hair and pulled him into a messy kiss. He rolled his hips in a way that made both of them moan into the kiss. He ended the kiss to bite at the lobe of Keith’s ear and enjoyed the gasp he got in response.

 

“Do you really think I want you to leave?”

 

Keith got the message.

 

-

 

He doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He doesn’t want to be around anyone. Lance was a social person, he grew up surrounded by friends and family, and had never been happy when he was alone for too long, but he… he didn’t want any of his loved ones seeing him like this.

 

Lance knew he was a mess. He ignored his beauty regiment and didn’t get much sleep and honestly forgot to eat some days. He turned down skype calls and face time invites from his friends and family because he knew he looked awful and he doubted they would accept stress as the cause of it. They would worry and ask questions and he was so tired and desperate for a shoulder to cry on that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from blurting out the truth.

 

The truth was that he is _pathetic_.

 

He started sleeping with a guy who didn’t want commitment of any kind because he was in love. He’s going through a depressive episode because the guy he loves sleeps around with other people. He still says ‘yes’ and opens his legs when Keith asks him to because he’s so pathetically, desperately in love with him so he’ll take whatever scraps of affection he can.

 

He starts ignoring calls and leaving texts unanswered. His friends and family worry and keep trying and Lance feels horrible.

 

What kind of a friend is he? A shitty one, thats what. Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro worry, but they cant do much from the other side of the country. They try to contact him through every form of communication and social media site they can. Eventually, they even try Keith.

 

“Hey, Lance,” Keith says one night while he’s looking for his clothes. Lance may have been too eager to get Keith naked. “Do you think you can text Shiro and the others? They said it’s been a few weeks since they heard from you and they’re worried.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Lance says as if it’s easy. He silently curses them because they knew he can’t refuse Keith anything. “I’ll do that in the morning, ok?”

 

Keith stopped what he was doing and gave him a curious look, like he was trying to look inside his head. “Are you… Is everything alright, man?”

 

Lance swallowed hard, kept his smile in place, and lied through his teeth because what else was he supposed to do? “Yeah, I’ve just not been feeling like socializing is all. Everyone has days like that. You would know, Mr. Desert Shack.”

 

It did the trick and Keith rolled his eyes at him. “Whatever, Lance,” he said after he pulled his shirt back on. He walked over to the bed that Lance was still lounging in and gave him his usual goodbye kiss that made Lance sigh contently. When he pulled away from the sweet kiss, he looked at Lance for a long moment before turning away. “I’m glad your feeling alright. See you later, Lance.”

 

Lance watched him leave with a pitiful, longing heart and tired, wet eyes.

 

This needed to stop.

 

-

 

At first glance, Lance thought Allura was standing next to a mirror or he was just seeing double. Then he began to wonder if Allura had forgotten to mention having a brother.

 

In his defense though, Allura and the mystery guy she was sitting with were so similar in looks that it was almost scary. The guys skin was defiantly lighter then Allura’s, probably closer to Lance’s own shade of brown. They had the exact same shade of blond hair that was so pale it almost looked white. The two of them were also so unbelievably gorgeous that it was hard to believe that genetics managed to do that good of a job twice.

 

“Allura?” he said hesitantly.

 

The young woman turned and smiled at Lance. Yep. Still the prettiest girl in the room. There were times when he wondered if Allura was even human. “Lance! I’m so glad you could make it!” She got out of her seat to give him a quick hug. Maybe she wasn’t kidding when she said she missed spending time with him.

 

“Sorry,” he apologized, giving her a tight squeeze back. “I haven’t been feeling well the past few days.” Ok, so it was a bit of an understatement, but Allura got the basic idea. She gave him a sympathetic smile and nodded her head in understanding.

 

The soft clearing of a throat brought his attention back to Allura’s look alike.

 

Lance felt lied to. He had been told all his life that the people in magazines were airbrushed and photo shopped and were in no way that flawless and gorgeous- His sister had even showed him a documentary about it!- yet here before him was living proof that it was possible. The guy sitting before him had a face that could make an angel cry, with perfect skin and high cheek bones sharp enough to cut glass and gorgeous lips that had a wicked little curl to them.

 

Mr. Beautiful blinked at him- _holy shit_ blue has always been his favorite color- and smiled a bit. Lance felt himself blush.

 

“Allura, who would this lovely stranger be?” Ohhhhhh my god, Lance needed Jesus! Because this man- this man right here- he had an __accent__. A British one that was doing things to Lance’s heart that should not be legal. Someone please get Lance a lawyer; he would like to sue.

 

“This is my friend I was telling you about. Lance, I would like you to meet Lotor.”

 

“ _This_ is the Lance you told me about?” Lotor asked. He looked startled for a second before he settled. His eyes gave Lance a quick up and down look and he smiled again, looking like a cat who got the cream. “I’m afraid you didn’t nearly do him justice when you said he was attractive, Allura.”

 

Where the _fuck_ is Lance’s lawyer? Charges needed to be pressed here!

 

Allura giggled. Sure Allura, laugh at Lance’s expense, he was only dying over here.

 

Lance was pretty sure his face was on fire as he sat down across from Allura. He had always been weak to complements, especially when they came from beautiful people with sexy accents. He still didn’t know how he functioned around most of his friends.

 

“I can say the same. Really though,I’d like to point out that ‘Beautiful’ has a ‘U’ in it.”

 

“Lance,” Allura started to groan. Her gentle scolding was cut off by laughter of all things. Lance and Allura both looked at Lotor with wide eyes as a big grin spread across Lotor’s face and his shoulders shook with soft laughter. Lance wasn’t sure what had him more flustered, the fact that Lotor had a really nice laugh or that one of his infamous pickup lines had worked on someone who looked like they could rival the moon in terms of beauty.

 

“Beautiful and funny?” Lotor said with a smile. “Have you been hiding from me in New York my entire life?”

 

Allura made a delighted little sound.

 

“Oh, uhh, no actually. I… just moved up here, you know, when I started college,” Lance fumbled over his words because he really was just that smooth. He cleared his throat and tried to find his dignity again and not look like a blushing fool. “Before that I was over in California and before that my family and I lived in Cuba, but that was ages ago.”

 

Lotor’s eyes lit up. “Cuban huh? I couldn’t place your accent, faint as it is, and I’m afraid Allura hasn’t told me much about you. I use to visit Veradera beach, beautiful place.”

 

Now it was Lance’s turn to light up.

 

He grinned at Lotor and started to go on and on about how his grandparents owned a pizza shack on the beach and that his uncle and cousins helped them run it and how his family normally went to visit for a few weeks during Summer and how he missed swimming in the ocean. Lotor listened with unwavering interest and waited until Lance was done before telling him about the short vacations he would take to Lance’s home country and how he hadn’t been there in years.

 

The two went back and forth, the conversation shifting from Cuba to how Lotor was adjusting to the big city to how Lance was enjoying college. They only stopped briefly when Allura, who looked oddly proud of herself, asked what they wanted to drink.

 

Lotor was just too perfect. Looks aside, he laughed at Lance’s jokes and gave flirty comments and never once interrupted his ramblings. He loved to travel and said that if he wasn’t the heir to his fathers business empire he would have wanted to be an astronaut. Lance was seriously beginning to wonder if Lotor had walked out of the pages of a romance novel or had been made in a lab. He’s pretty sure that Lotor wasn’t human. Sure, Allura was backing up his claim of being a mere mortal, but her own humanity was up in the air too.

 

Lance was just in the middle of explaining how torn he had been between studying astrophysics or marine biology when Lotor’s cell phone began vibrating. “I apologize, one moment,” he said before answering the text. He frowned at his phone before typing a short message and standing up. “I’m afraid there’s a small situation going on with the moving crew at my apartment that needs my attention.”

 

“It’s alright, Lotor,” Allura answered sweetly. Lance suddenly felt bad. He and Lotor had been talking so much that Allura could barely get a word in. He hadn’t internationally been leaving her out, but that probably just made it worse. “We can catch up again another time.”

 

Lotor smiled at her gratefully before turning to Lance. “It was truly a pleasure to meet you today, Lance,” he said smoothly. “I was wondering if you wouldn’t be opposed to having dinner with me tonight?”

 

Lance blinked at Lotor, surprised. Lotor - who looked like he modeled in his spare time - wanted to have dinner with Lance? Did he mean as a date? Lance is pretty sure he meant dinner as in a date. Wait… tonight?

 

Lance bit his lip. “I actually have work tonight,” he explained. Lotor’s smile dimmed. “But I’m free tomorrow night, if you want to?”

 

“I very much want to,” Lotor answered. “Could I have your number? To discuss when I can pick you up?”

 

Lotor was gorgeous, flirty, and laughed at Lance’s jokes. He sure as hell could get Lance’s number.

 

He left after Lance had put his information into Lotor’s phone and Lance totally checked out his butt when he was walking away. Seriously? Did someone make a perfect man for Lance and not tell him?

 

Allura made a happy little noise and Lance looked over at her. She had a big grin on her face bright enough to light up the room. “Oh, this is wonderful! I just knew you and Lotor would be perfect for each other!”

 

-

 

He still agreed when Keith asked to come over that night because Lance is a fucked up person. His morals fought inside him the entire time Keith was over. He shouldn’t be sleeping with Keith when he has a date tomorrow night with another guy. He knew that it wasn’t what decent people did and that it wasn’t fair to Lotor or to Keith.

 

But he barely knew Lotor and didn’t owe him loyalty or faithfulness when they weren’t even in a relationship. And its not as if Keith would __care__ that Lance was seeing other people when Keith has been sleeping with god knows how many others. If he did tell Keith about the upcoming date, Keith would probably just ask if he wanted to end the thing they have going on.

 

He didn’t want to end things with Keith over one date that may not even work out. Because Lance was a fucked up person like that.

 

So instead of telling Keith about his date with Lotor, Lance asked him not to leave anymore marks or hickeys on him and said a classmate had pointed them out. Keith seemed a bit disappointed, but agreed without protest. He was careful with his kisses and his biting and the grip he kept on Lance’s shoulders and hips for the remainder of the night.

 

Lance tried not to think that it was sweet. He failed.

 

-

 

Their first date was simple. Lotor had picked him up in what was probably the sexiest car Lance had ever seen and took him to a little hole in the wall Italian place that had the some of the best tortellini he had ever eaten. They talked and jumped from topic to topic easily.

 

Lotor talked about the boot camps he spent his summers in (because his father insisted that it built character).

 

“Father had been a high ranking military officer before he was honorably discharged. He took over his families small business and turned it into the empire it is today,” Lotor said casually. Lance was almost impressed that Lotor managed to not sound stuck up when he mentioned that his family was loaded. “He wanted me to go to a military school, but Mother insisted I go to the same boarding school she did. They compromised and sent me every boot camp they could during holidays.”

 

Lance managed to make Lotor laugh with stories of some of his worse customers.

 

“There was one guy who through a huge fit because we wouldn’t accept a coupon for a free meal at a restaurant that wasn’t even ours,” Lance said tiredly. Lotor tried to hide his amusement, but it was a loosing battle. “My boss is one of those ‘the customer is always right’ guys, but even he couldn’t take it. The man ended up getting banned. Oh, and then there are the people who keep thinking that we’re a Red Lobsters restaurant and take it as a personal betrayal when I have to break the news to them.”

 

They found that they both saw the value of taking care of ones self with annual spa days, but Lotor normally visiting an actual spa while Lance would use homemade remedies or bought the products himself.

 

“I knew that hair was too beautiful for you to manage alone,” Lance sighed. He was delighted when Lotor blushed and laughed.

 

“I’ll have to take you with me next time I go to one of the spas Allura has recommended,” Lotor said with a smile. “But only if you tell me how you manage to make your skin look so soft. It’s practically glowing.” Lotor reached across the table to caress Lance’s cheek with one of his knuckles and Lance is honestly proud of himself for holding back the noise that wanted to escape his throat at the action.

 

They ended up loosing track of time and staying until closing. Lotor drove him home and asked if he would agree to a second date. Lance agreed. He placed a good night kiss to Lance’s cheek before he left that had him blushing for hours after. All in all, one of the best first dates Lance had ever been on.

 

-

 

One date turns into two and then three and then four and Lance felt like he was about to wake up from a dream at any minute.

 

The third date was longer then the first two. They had lunch and Lance got to try Indian food for the first time with very successful results and then Lotor took him shopping. It sounded simple enough, but Lance had never even considered going into some of the shops and boutiques Lotor taken him to. He couldn’t even afford to buy socks from places like that, but Lotor insisted. It was great fun to look through the clothes and model them for a very delighted Lotor as if he was planning to buy them.

 

While Lance had no intention of buying the clothes, Lotor did. Lance almost thrown a fit when Lotor had told the worker following them around that he would be buying everything Lance had tried on, but Lotor had waved away his protests like he was just lending him a twenty and said that Lance deserved nice things in life.

 

Lance had given up fighting him after the second shop they went to, but had to look away before the cashier rang up the total of how much his new clothes cost. Lotor had giggled at him. “You are too precious, Lance.”

 

He went home with four bags filled with clothes and a very pleased Lotor behind him carrying the other three bags. He gave Lance a sweet kiss before he left that made Lance’s head feel light.

 

He had called up Allura and finally threw the fit that had been building up all day after Lotor left and she had laughed. “Lotor has always liked to spoil the people he cares about. He has more then enough money to spend and it’s kind of how he shows affection. It’s a bit unnerving at first when he just drops a few thousand dollars on gifts for you, but you get use to it.”

 

Which was… yeah. It was something to get use to, but nothing Lance couldn’t handle.

 

Those gifts were especially easy to get use to when Lance would find a bouquet of blue and white flowers being delivered to him on days Lotor was too busy to see him.

 

-

 

A half hour before date number five began, Lotor had texted him ‘ _Wear that black and blue shirt we bought last time. It makes your eyes pop_.’ and so Lance wore the black and blue shirt.

 

Lotor took him to a natural history museum for their date. “They just opened a new space exhibit that I’ve been wanting to see and I thought you may enjoy it.” God, did he ever. Lance had always had a love for space and the stars. He had wanted to go to the Galaxy Garrisons for high school so badly, but money had always been tight in his family and Lance didn’t have the brains to get in on a scholarship.

 

He had a great time at the museum, but after close to three hours of walking, both he and Lotor had been ready to collapse and had gone out for an early dinner to a french restaurant that Lotor liked.

 

French food was yummy and looked pretty, but was tiny. “If you want, you can come in and I’ll make us a real dinner that can fill us up more then the really expensive appetizers they had,” Lance had found himself offering when Lotor was dropping him off at his apartment. Lotor had smiled and happily agreed.

 

Lance had felt like showing off his cooking skills and made the picadillo his aunt had taught him how to make. They had talked while Lance cooked and Lotor sat at the island counter that Lance still used as a table because he was broke and his apartment was tiny.

 

Lance had asked about Lotor’s family and he was told about Axca, a quiet girl who he met at boot camp with a fondness for guns. Zethrid, the bastard child of one of his fathers inner circle who has won dozens of national championships in boxing and weightlifting. Narti, who had been a charity case of his mothers who Lotor befriended simply because his cat liked her. Ezor, the struggling homeless girl who had almost managed to pit-pocket him and ended up working for him.

 

Lance didn’t ask about his father and mother. The way Lotor didn’t talk about them when Lance asked about family was telling enough.

 

Everything about Lotor had softened when he talked about the girls and Lance loved it. He asked more about the girls and said that he would love to meet them while he made their plates. Lotor had smiled softly at Lance and said they would like him.

 

The kiss tasted like Lance’s cooking. It was soft and slow and it was just as perfect as Lotor was.

 

-

 

A half hour after Lotor left Lance’s apartment with a final kiss good night, Keith sent a text to Lance asking if he could come over. It felt like all the warmth was stolen away and the butterflies had died with that text.

 

Lance still said yes.

 

-

 

Lotor had texted him and asked if he would like to come over to Lotor’s apartment for a night in. Lance had been hesitant. He wasn’t sure if this was Lotor’s eloquent of saying ‘netflix and chill’ or if it really was just a relaxing night in. Lance wasn’t even sure which one he _wanted_ it to be. He agreed in the end and was given an address and told to come around seven that evening.

 

Lotor’s apartment building was straight out of the movies. Tall and modern and impressive and brightly lit. Lance parked his beat up little car that he’s had since high school between two sleek sports cars in the parking lot and went to lobby of the building. They had a fucking marble fountain in the lobby of the apartment building. There were also sparkling chandeliers and huge works of art decorating the walls. It was like a mix of an art exhibit and a five star hotel and Lance was standing there in old blue jeans with messy hair.

 

He was suddenly reminded of those old picture games he would play in his childhood. _One of these things doesn’t belong here! Can you find it?_

 

Just when Lance was beginning to contemplate the advantages of a hasty retreat, he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He turned to find a pretty girl with dark hair looking at him blankly. “Lance McLain?”

 

“Uhh, yeah?”

 

“I’m Axca, Lotor asked me to escort you to his home.”

 

Lance gasped and grinned at her. “You’re Axca!” At her surprised look, Lance explained further. “Lotor talked about you a bit. You’re a friend of his from boot camp, right?”

 

Axca blinked at Lance a few times before she sharply turned and led him to the elevators. “I am a dedicated employee and have been loyal to Lotor for many years since we met. That is all.”

 

“Oh,” Lance said lamely. He gave her an apologetic grin. “Sorry, the way he talked about all of you gave the impression that you meant a lot to him…”

 

He looked away while the doors to the elevator closed. Axca inserted a card into a discreetly hidden slot by the floor buttons and pressed one of the three penthouse buttons when they lit up. Lance wasn’t very surprised that Lotor had a penthouse. The guy had money and a taste for luxury that was obvious in his looks and choice of car.

 

“... He did?” Axca asked a few seconds later. Her voice was soft and had an almost hopeful note to it.

 

Lance grinned at her. “Yep! He talked about you and the other girls the same way I talk about my siblings.”

 

Axca turned sharply and gave Lance a startled, shocked look. She looked at him wide eyed for a few seconds before turning away. “I see.”

 

The rest of the ride passed quietly. The doors opened up and Lance was going to walk out of the elevator before Acxa put a hand on his shoulder and yanked him back. He stumbled back and watched her with wide eyes while she moved to stand in the doorway of the elevator. She had one hand on the door frame to keep it open and one holding a fistful of his shirt. She had a very serious, intense expression on her face.

 

“Listen to me carefully,” she said. “Lotor hasn’t had the best luck with love in the past. There have been people who only saw his fathers money and power and thought that Lotor was just a stepping stone to get to it. There have been people who have sold him out and tried to use him. People who worked for his mother and reported his activities to her. He doesn’t trust easily, and if you’re going to be one of the people who break that trust again, then I suggest that you end the relationship now before he really falls for you. Or we will come after you, Lance, and you will wish we hadn’t.”

 

Axca let go of his shirt and stood aside so he could leave. “Have a nice night with Lotor.”

 

Lance walked through the little entrance with wobbly knees. He listening to the elevator door close behind him before knocking on one of the double doors. He took a deep breath to compose himself. For just being a ‘loyal employee’ Axca sure was protective.

 

Lotor answered the door a minute after Lance had knocked and smiled at him. “Hello, my dear,” Lotor greeted with a kiss. Lance smiled and returned the kiss. Lotor let him into his apartment and holy shit.

 

The place reminded Lance of the home magazines that his mom liked and the real estate tv shows he use to watch with his siblings when nothing else was on so they could make fun of the overly demanding couples and sigh over the beautiful homes that were priced at half a million dollars. Something didn’t feel real about Lotor’s home. It was too cold, too perfect. It looked ready for a photo shoot, not like someone lived here.

 

“I don’t know whats more impressive,” Lance said in awe. “How this place looks or that you are entirely moved in after two weeks.”

 

“Am I not supposed to be?” Lotor questioned. He pulled Lance further into the room.

 

Lance gave him a dead pan look. “It took me close to six months until I finally unpacked the last box when I moved out of my parents place.”

 

Lotor smirked at him, amused and smug. “I had a moving team. And Axca and Ezor hired an interior designer to take care of the decorating as a ‘house warming’ gift.”

 

“Speaking of Axca,” Land said with a huff of laughter. “She gave me a rather impressive shovel talk in the elevator.”

 

Lotor went still. His smile dropped. “She what?” he asked sharply.

 

“Umm… A shovel talk? The thing you normally give to the guy or girl whose now dating your sibling? ‘I have a shovel and a back yard in case you hurt them’ kinda deal? There’s like a hundred country songs about it.”

 

“I know what a shovel talk is,” Lotor informed him shortly. He looked almost angry, but he sounded normal. “and Axca should not have given you one. I apologize, I’ll talk to her about it as soon as possible.”

 

“Hey, hey, it’s fine, man,” Lance insisted. “I know she didn’t mean anything by it.”

 

“That doesn’t mean she has the right to threaten you with harm, Lance,” Lotor growled out. Lance was startled by the sound and took a step back. Lotor was __angry__. “No one has that right and I’ll be damned before I let someone threaten my boyfriend without paying for it. ”

 

_Boyfriend._

 

The word shocked Lance to the core, though it probably shouldn’t have. He and Lotor had been dating for the past two weeks now. They had a mutual attraction and enjoyed each others company and Lance liked Lotor. He liked Lotor a lot and Lotor seemed to like him just as much. Becoming boyfriends was just the natural transition of things, but Lance was blindsided by it.

 

Lotor, who was probably the perfect man, wanted Lance as his boyfriend.

 

“Is that what we are?” Lance asked. “Boyfriends?”

 

Lotor went still and Lance watched the anger drain away from his face. Lotor rose one perfect eyebrow at him. “Yes? We’ve been dating for weeks, Lance. I assumed that's what we are?”

 

Lance smiled at Lotor, a relieved laugh bubbling out of his throat. “I hadn’t been sure. I mean, look at you! You’re incredible and you want _me_? ”

 

Lotor’s face softened into a fond smile. “I very much do,” Lotor informed him. He pulled Lance into a warm hug. “More then you can imagine, my dear Lance.”

 

Lance pressed himself closer to Lotor, grinning into his chest so hard that his lips almost hurt, but it was all he could do to keep from shouting. Lotor _wanted_ him! They were _boyfriends_! Lance was so happy, so overwhelmingly happy, that he found himself laughing. “Thats… Yeah, boyfriends. I can be happy with that…”

 

“Good,” Lotor said. Lance could feel the other man smile into his hair. “Because I have no intentions of letting you go now that you are mine.”

 

Lance pulled away enough to pull Lotor down for a kiss. He could live quite happily being Lotor’s boyfriend.

 

-

 

“And its just me right?” Lance asked hours later. They were curled up together in Lotor’s bed, soft sheets and plush pillows a chaotic mess around them. “No one else? Exclusiveness?”

 

“Of course,” Lotor relied, sounding like the very notion of wanting someone else was inconceivable. Lance felt himself breath a little easier. “What makes you ask?”

 

“Oh, um, no reason…”

 

“Lance.”

 

“... I’ve umm, been in a relationship where… actually, no, it wasn’t really a relationship at all. Just sex, really. But I thought it was just me and… it turns out that it wasn’t… I know it’s stupid to be hurt by it, but it sucked to be nothing but sex to someone you had feelings for…”

 

Lotor gently took a hold of Lance’s wrist and brought it to his lips. He placed little kisses over Lance’s fingertips, knuckles, the palm of his hand, everywhere. It was so unbearably sweet and Lance felt his heart pounded hard inside his chest.

 

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Someone like you should never have to be treated like that, even if it was just sex.”

 

Lance swallowed hard. “Someone like me?” He asked. His voice was a tiny, helpless thing, but he got the words out. Lotor stopped his kisses and looked Lance in the eye.

 

“Someone beautiful,” he said. His smile was soft and his eyes were warm and Lance felt like he couldn’t breath. “and outgoing and brilliant. The most compassionate person I have ever met. Someone I find myself completely charmed by. Someone who I want to be mine and mine alone. Oh, Lance. I have never met anyone more worthy of being by my side like this. You are beautiful and funny and intelligent and so very kind and compassionate. I’m very lucky that you return my affections.”

 

Lance needed to end things with Keith.

 

-

 

Lance discovered a few things once he and Lotor became an official couple.

 

The first one was that Lotor was cuddly as fuck and Lance loved it.

 

With Keith, Lance had soaked up any little bit of affection the other would give, but once things became official between then, Lotor constantly rained affection. Lance would find himself being pulled into Lotor’s arms for no reason other then to be held, turned around for a long kiss, his hand held as if he were made out of glass, and sometimes find Lotor’s head in his lap, silently demanding to have his hair played with. Lotor was starved for touch and affection and had no hesitance in giving or taking it.

 

Lance _really_ loved it.

 

He let himself be held just as often as he opened his arms up to Lotor, he couldn’t get enough kisses from Lotor and he was glad to give them. Playing with Lotor’s long hair was quickly becoming his favorite thing to do to keep his hands busy. Lotor would sigh contently and let Lance do as he pleased while he answered emails or scrolled through his phone. Lance would braid Lotor’s hair in every style he had learned from his sisters and nieces over the years and Lotor wore them proudly.

 

While dates with Lotor were always great, Lance preferred to spend time with him at his apartment. Lotor seemed to love it and encouraged Lance to come over whenever he wanted to. He gave Lance a card to gain elevator access to his penthouse so he could come and go whenever he wanted without one of the girls needing to let him in. It became a common thing for Lance to curl up on the couch in Lotor’s study with his laptop while his boyfriend worked from home and he did homework.

 

Lance also found out that Lotor mostly ate out for his meals and the only times he had home cooked meals were when one of the girls cooked for him. Lance set out to change that. His cooking wasn’t on par with Hunk’s, but his Mama had taught him well. Lotor never complained about the food even though he was use to top of the line cuisine made by professionals. If anything, he seemed touched when Lance made simple dinners or he woke up to breakfast when Lance stayed over.

 

Another thing was that Lotor liked pet names. He really, really seemed to like them. Lotor calling him ‘Lance’ was soon a rarity. Now it was always my dearest or lovely or beautiful. Lance’s personal favorite was ‘Love’. Lance returned in kind, calling him babe and handsome and gorgeous easily. On one occasion he had called him ‘daddy’ and then proceeded to laugh so hard his stomach cramped at the disturbed look Lotor gave him.

 

__“_ No.”_

_“Your faaaace!”_

_“Lance, I love you, but no.”_

 

That was another thing.

 

Lotor loved Lance. He really loved Lance. Lance felt it in every kiss and saw it in every fond look. Lance had at first thought Lotor would be the type of guy to have trouble voicing his feelings, but was pleasantly surprised to find that that wasn’t the case. Lotor told Lance that he loved him often enough that Lance never forgot it. Lance still wasn’t sure if he loved Lotor in return. It didn’t feel like the love he held for Keith, but when he called up his sister and for advise she told him that love felt different with each person __because__ its a different person. Lotor didn’t seem bothered by the fact that Lance had yet to say it back, but they didn’t talk about it.

 

He had told his mama and family that he was in a relationship just days after he and Lotor made it official. They were excited and happy for him. His sisters had asked for pictures, his brother had asked if he was being treated well, and his parents wanted to meet him. The love and approval of his family had warmed Lance’s heart and Lotor had seemed surprised but pleased when Lance told him about it.

 

He had yet to tell Hunk or Pidge and had no intention of telling Shiro or Matt about his new relationship with Lotor. What Matt knew Shiro knew, and what Shiro knew Keith knew. Lance wasn’t ready for the shit storm that Keith would bring if he found out Lance was in a relationship. Keith always got weirdly protective over his friends when they started dating someone. It was sweet and reminded Lance of how wonderful Keith could be and Lance was a touch too heartbroken to be able to handle that now.

 

Lance starts telling Keith that he’s busy or not up to it or just flat out ‘no’ when he asks if he can come over. Lance had honestly expected Keith’s interests to lessen once Lance started saying no, once Lance was no longer the convenient one that always said ‘yes’, but Keith just seems to ask more.

 

Lance knew he should give Keith an explanation. He knew that Keith deserved to at least be told why Lance was ignoring him.

 

But a bitter little part of him said that Keith can handle a taste of his own medicine. Keith had cut all contact with Lance for months when he dropped out of college and Lance still didn’t know why. Lance was never given an explanation for Keith cutting him off and he handled it, Keith can do the same.

 

-

 

Lance was a people person. He was good at talking to people. He had a decent sense of humor and an approachable appearance and he has been told in the past that people find it easy to open up to him. His siblings and friends would go to him to rant and vent and would jokingly say that he should think about becoming a therapist. Lance love being able to support and help the people he cared about in that way.

 

Lance was good with people. He should be able to handle meeting Lotor’s family without a sweat.

 

Lotor, who really went above and beyond for the four young women he thought of as family, had wanted them to stay as close as they possibly could when the five of them moved to New York City and proceeded to buy each of them an apartment on the floor below his penthouse and covers the rent of each one. Despite their own apartments being a short elevator ride away, Lance found that all of them preferred to spend time in Lotor’s penthouse.

 

With Lance spending more and more time at Lotor’s, he had plenty of time to get to know the girls.

 

It was nerve wrecking.

 

At least the girls had been eager to meet him. The first time he let himself into Lotor’s apartment to find Ezor and Narti doing yoga in the living room, they had lit up. Ezor had been filled with questions and was happy to translate for Narti since Lance’s sign language was rusty at best. Their eagerness was surprising considering how cold Axca had been, but nothing Lance couldn’t handle.

 

“We’re all really happy to meet you. Like, ridiculously happy. Axca’s kind of mad at herself for ruining your first impression of her,” Ezor giggled.

 

“Huh? How come? I can’t be the first boyfriend Lotor’s had.”

 

Ezor opened her mouth, but paused when Narti’s hands beat her to it. “You’re the first boyfriend that Lotor’s asked us if we want to meet,” Ezor said when Narti’s hands had fallen back to her sides. She turned to Lance with a grin. “Normally he doesn’t involve us in his personal life.”

 

“Really? Why not?”

 

“Umm…” she hesitated. “Well its… He doesn’t really… let us in all that often? Like, we know he cares and makes our safety and well being a top priority, but he doesn’t __talk__ to us you know? Don’t get me wrong, we all love Lotor like a brother and would fallow him to the ends of the Earth and back! He’s just… distant?”

 

Lance hesitated before nodding his head slowly. This new information about Lotor was rolling around in his head. Lotor had done nothing but spoken highly of the girls when he talked about them but maybe he had neglected to let the girls know that.

 

“Hey, I’ll tell you a secret, but don’t tell Lotor.” Ezor’s eyebrows rose and she smirked before leaned in a bit while Narti tilted her head curiously. “When I asked Lotor to tell me about his family, he didn’t say a word about his parents, but he went on and on about you four girls.”

 

Just like Axca, Ezor’s face went slack with shock. Her teasing smiles and bubbly persona dropped into wide eyed surprise. Narti’s mouth dropped open a bit and her eyebrows went up.

 

Lance smiled kindly at them. “He really seems to care about you guys, but maybe he’s not that good at showing it.”

 

Ezor slowly nodded her head, almost dazed looking as if the possibility of Lotor loving them was a huge revelation. “Yeah…” she said slowly. A big grin, genuine and bright, came to her face and she moved to hug Lance’s arm. “I like you, you’re a nice guy! Lotor does have good taste in men after all!”

 

Lotor came out of his study to find the three in the middle of a balancing stick pose, still chattering away.

 

Axca had been the next one to find him. She had chased after him before he was going to leave and very formally apologized for how she had spoken to him the first time they met. “I was out of bounds and extremely rude to you and I owe you an apology for my behavior.”

 

“Nah,” Lance said. He waved his hand at Axca as if he could shoo away the unneeded apology. “Don’t sweat it. I know you were just looking out for Lotor. I’m not at all offended so no apology needed.”

 

“But I-”

 

“ _Upp bup bup_!” Lance interrupted. He grinned at her to know he wasn’t angry. “No apology needed, but apology has been accepted and you are forgiven for doing nothing wrong.”

 

Axca had stared at him for a long moment, like she didn’t know how to handle this strange person before her. Finally, she nodded her head and thanked him for accepting her apology and wishing him a good night.

 

Zethrid was as intimidating as she was aggressive. The first thing she said to Lance was that he was a toothpick that she could break in half. She had looked more alarmed by the fact then mocking and she preceded to ask just how often he eats.

 

“I eat three meals a day,” Lance had defended himself. “And I’m a swimmer, of course I’m not going to have muscles the size of my head!”

 

“That’s no excuse! You look like your practically malnourished,” Zethrid said sounding almost horrified. Ezor fell off the couch how hard she was laughing and Axca was shaking how hard she was trying to keep her laughter in.

 

“Ezor is just as skinny as I am, worry about her!”

 

“I have seen Ezor eat an entire turkey by herself in one sitting; I _know_ she eats! You on the other hand…”

 

Narti and Lotor had returned home to Zethrid trying to convince Lance the wonders of body building, mostly through flexing and telling him that he looked like a strong gust of wind could knock him over. Ezor had been enjoying the gun show Zethrid put on and Axca had finally lost her battle and was giggling madly next to her.

 

Lotor had seemed thrilled that the girls and Lance got along so well. It became a normal thing for the girls and Allura, who was still very very smug about her matchmaking skills, to join them for lunch dates or just hanging out at Lotor’s place.

 

-

 

“Is everything alright, Lance?”

 

Lance looked up from his phone to Lotor. They were cuddling in Lotor’s lounge. A movie was playing on his tv, but Lance hadn’t been able to focus on that and instead decided to torture himself by going through all the pictures his sister had posted for Thea’s birthday.

 

Lance gave a bright smiled to his boyfriend. “Yeah, everything’s fine, babe.”

 

Lotor’s eyes narrowed. Lotor looked anything but pleased by his answer. “I think it’s fairly obvious that you aren’t fine.”

 

“Excuse you, I’ve gone _fine_ written all over me. I even have a pair of shorts with it written across the back.”

 

Lotor twisted himself so he could face Lance. He cupped Lance’s face in his hands and looked him in the eye. “Please don’t hide from me, love.” Lotor’s voice had a displeased sharpness under the request that made it sound more like a command. Ok, hiding behind humor wouldn’t work with Lotor then.

 

“I… I don’t mean to. It’s just what I’ve always done. Put on a happy face so the people around me don’t worry.”

 

“You don’t need to do that with me. Trust, loyalty, and honesty are all that I ask of you. Can you give them to me?”

 

Lance bit his bottom lip. “… I can try,” he answered after a long moment. “But you have to be patient with me. This is something I’ve been doing literally my entire life.”

 

Lotor nodded and ran his fingers through Lance’s hair, the scratch of his nails sending a shiver down Lance’s back. “I will, my love, just as you will. Now please, tell me what is wrong?”

 

“It was… it’s my niece’s birthday today,” Lance admitted. “She just turned seven. I was able to fly down and visit my family last year for her birthday, but I couldn’t this year. I had class and work and money’s been tight and I told her that but she was really upset about it. I’m her favorite uncle and she really wanted me there, but I couldn’t and I just… It feels like I’m growing apart from them.”

 

Lotor pulled him into a hug and Lance all but melted. He started stroking Lance’s hair in the most soothing way. After a few minutes, he placed a kiss to Lance’s head. “Thank you for telling me what was bothering you, Beautiful. Next time something like this happens, please tell me before hand. I would be happy to pay for your travel expenses.”

 

Lance hummed into Lotor’s chest in response.

 

Then his brain actually processed what he had just heard and he jerked out of Lotor’s hold to look at him with a startled “Wha?!”

 

“I would be more then happy to pay for your airline tickets anytime you want to visit your family,” Lotor repeated. “I know how much value you put in family. They sound like a wonderful, loving family and it obviously upsets you that you don’t see them often. I want you to be happy and if the cost of that is an airline ticket, then it’s one I will pay without hesitation.”

 

Lance swallowed hard, his throat suddenly tight and his heart pounding hard in his chest. “Ohh,” he managed to chock out. His voice was shaky and much quieter then he intended. Lotor smiled at him before pulling him back into his arms and continuing to stroke his hair. “I…” Lance started. He had to swallow before he could try again. “I love you.”

 

-

 

“Allura… Allura, I’m in love.”

 

The young woman sitting across from Lance gasped and beamed at him. Lance beamed right back, grinning so hard that it almost hurt but that didn’t matter. He was in love. He was in love with an incredible man who looked at Lance like he was everything he had ever dreamed of having.

 

Lance had never been in love like this. When he realized that he loved Keith, he had almost immediate been slapped in the face with the reality that Keith would never return his feelings. His insecurities had wrecked havoc on him. ‘You’ll never be good enough for him’ they whispered. ‘He’ll never look at you and see someone worth loving’ ‘You’ve doomed yourself to an unrequited love’ the words had echoed in his mind for weeks whenever he was around Keith.

 

But now? Now Lance was in love and it felt amazing. Every color was brighter, every sound was sweeter, and every moment better when he was around Lotor. He fell further and further in love with the older man with every beat of his heart.

 

“Oh, Lance,” Allura sighed. Her smile was still big and beautiful, but something akin to worry was in her eyes. “I am so happy for you… No ones more happy for you and Lotor then I am…” She opened her mouth to speak then hesitated and closed it several times while she tried to find the words.

 

“Yes, Princess?” Lance gently encouraged her.

 

“But… Don’t you think you’re moving a bit fast? You and Lotor only met a few weeks ago,” she said almost reluctantly. “And you had been so… upset about Keith when you-”

 

“Can we,” Lance interrupted her. Allura’s words cut abruptly and her eyebrows shot up, unused to someone being brave enough to cut her off. “not talk about Keith? He’s in the past, and I… don’t want to talk about him.”

 

Allura slowly nodded her head. Lance felt like she was analyzing him. “I only want to make sure that you aren’t… focusing so much on your feelings for Lotor as a way to forget your previous heartache.”

 

“I’m not,” he said shortly.

 

Allura pursed her lips. She didn’t look convinced, but she let the conversation drop.

 

-

 

“ _Lance_!” Pidge and Hunk cried at the same time. They were squished together in front of Pidge’s laptop to video chat with him. Lance grinned at them. “Lance! Oh my God!”

 

“Hey you guys! Miss me?”

 

“Miss you?!” Pidge snapped. “Weeks of silence and then the bare minimum of texts to let us know you were alive and you ask if we _missed you_!”

 

“Not cool, man, so not cool,” Hunk said sagely with a disapproving shake of his head.

 

Lance’s grin turned guilty and he rubbed at his neck. “Yeah, I know, not cool. I’m sorry you guys.”

 

“Dude, what happened? I mean, I know you were feeling down a while ago but you didn’t want to talk about it. Was that why you went all quiet? Should I have pushed you to talk about it? Oh man,” Hunk groaned. “I should have made you talk about it, shouldn’t I?”

 

“Hunk- Hunk! Calm down, big guy,” Lance urged. “It’s not your fault, I promise. I just… I had a lot going on and my motivation to live dropped and I didn’t want to talk to anyone.”

 

Lotor gave him a concerned look, probably wondering if depression and suicidal thoughts were something he had to look out for. Lance shoot him a quick smile, promising that he would talk to him about it later.

 

“... I’m just glad you’re feeling better now. You can talk to us whenever you need to, you know that right?”

 

Lance smiled at Hunk, glad to be forgiven and to have such an amazing best friend. “Yeah, I know, Buddy.”

 

“Umm, Lance?” Pidge said suddenly. Her eyebrows were down and lips pursed curiously. “Where are you right now? That doesn’t look like your apartment behind you.”

 

Lance looked back over to Lotor and waved his boyfriend over to him. Lotor stood from behind his desk and walked around it to join Lance on the couch in his study. “What are you looking at?” Pidge questioned again, growing impatient without her answers. She went quiet when Lance moved his laptop so that they could see both him and Lotor.

 

“Hunk, Pidge, I would like you to meet my new boyfriend, Lotor. We’ve been dating for a few weeks.”

 

“Hello,” Lotor said pleasantly.

 

Hunk and Pidge’s jaws had dropped and eyes had gone wide.

 

“WHA- but you - and - but what about- WHAT?” Pidge finally managed to shriek.

 

“Is this why you’ve been so quiet lately!?” Hunk asked, surprisingly calmer then Pidge was. “You were trying to keep your new relationship quiet?”

 

Lance bit his lip and shrugged. “Partially,” he finally said. He deflated at their unimpressed looks. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys.”

 

“Yeah, you better be!” Pidge pouted and huffed. “Anger aside though, I’m kinda impressed. You normally don’t shut up when you get a new crush or start dating someone. And you got a lot to brag about with this guy.”

 

Lance grinned again and looked at Lotor, who was quietly waiting until his friends stopped freaking out. “I know, right?” Lotor smirked at him and winked.

 

“Gross,” Pidge muttered.

 

“I just cant believe Keith didn’t spill! Normally he gets all huffy and grumpy when you start dating someone.”

 

Annnnnd there goes Lance’s smile. Lotor tilts his head a bit, curious about the reaction to Keith’s name. Lance turned back to Hunk and Pidge “Umm… Keith…. Doesn’t know either.”

 

“What? Are you and Keith not talking again?”

 

“... No, not really. Can we talk about it later? And can you guys maybe not tell him either? Or Shiro? What Shiro knows, Keith knows, you know?”

 

Hunk and Pidge looked at each other and shared a look before Pidge shrugged helplessly and Hunk gave a big sigh. They turned back to the camera to look at Lance and Lotor. “Sure man. Does your mom know about him? Has she met him yet? Have you met Lance’s mom yet?”

 

“No, I’m afraid I’ve not had the pleasure,” Lotor told them smoothly. Hunk’s eyes went wide.

 

“... OhmyGod,” he said in one rushed word. “he has an accent…”

 

Lance grinned. “I know. And Mama would kill me if I tried to introduce him to her through video chat! She scolded me for, like, a half hour when I did that to her with Allura. I’m not making the same mistake. But, yeah, I told her about Lotor. She’s really excited to meet you.”

 

“As am I.”

 

“Pidge, he has an accent!”

 

“I know, Hunk,” Pidge said in a monotone voice.

 

“Lotor grew up in the same boarding school as Allura. Thus: an accent.”

 

“Lance, ohmy God! He’s got an accent!”

 

Lance laughed, feeling lighter now that he’s back to talking to his friends. He hadn’t realized how much he missed them.

 

-

 

“Whose this ‘Keith’ that they mentioned?” Lotor asked later that night when they were getting ready for bed. Lance didn’t spend the night with Lotor every night, but it was starting to become a habit. One that they both enjoyed.

 

Lance bit back a sigh, but he couldn’t stop the grimace that over took his face for the life of him. “Keith’s… an old friend from high school who I… umm.”

 

Strong arms wrapped around his hips and Lotor pulled until his back was flush against the taller mans chest. Lotor rested his pointy chin on Lance’s shoulder. “I wont force you to talk about him if you don’t want to, Love. It’s alright. I was just curious.”

 

“No, its- I think you should…” Lance sighed, frustrated with himself for not finding the right words. How do you tell your current boyfriend about your ex… whatever the hell he and Keith were. “Sorry. I do want you to know, it’s just…”

 

Lotor placed a kiss to the side of Lance’s neck and waited. He rubbed soothing pastern into Lance’s hip and held him close. Lance closed his eyes and savored this feeling. Safe in the arms of the man he loved who loved him just as much.

 

“... Keith was my first love,” he finally said. “We were friends, but we… well, he cut contact with me after college started. He moved to the city a few months ago and…”

 

“Did you two begin a relationship?” Lotor sounded almost casual when he asked his question, like he wanted to know what the weather would be like tomorrow or something.

 

“No, no…” Lance huffed with a bitter laugh. “I wish. Keith doesn’t do relationships. He… just wanted someone to have casual sex with and I… I was stupid enough to agree.”

 

Lotor went very still. Lance felt him tense up behind him. “You told me once that you had been in a relationship with someone who was unfaithful to you.” Lance heard the unasked question in Lotor’s voice.

 

“No,” Lance defended quickly. He wasn’t sure why or who he was defending. Himself for being an idiot or Keith for being an asshole? “It wasn’t a relationship. It… It was just sex and I mean, we never talked about being exclusive so it was my fault… but, yeah. That was Keith.”

 

Lotor was quiet for a long time. His silence gave away nothing and it made the Cuban boy squirm in his arms. When he did finally speak, his voice was firm and left no room for argument. “You are not at fault Lance.”

 

“But I-”

 

“No,” Lotor interrupted. He turned Lance around so he could look him in the eye. “You did nothing wrong, my love. That other man, Keith, he was the one who took advantage of you. He was the one who slept with others without telling you. He hurt and betrayed you as both a lover and a friend. It’s cruel and unforgivable.”

 

“Keith didn’t know how I felt, Lotor, he didn’t know he was hurting me like that.”

 

“Are you certain?”

 

“What?”

 

“Are you certain he didn’t know about your feelings for him?” Lotor asked again. He brought his hand up to hold the side of Lance’s face and looked at him seriously. “In the time we’ve spent together, I’ve seen your thoughts and emotions clear on your face. You can hide a lot of things, my heart, but your love shines through clearly. No one can mistake that.”

 

Lance felt like someone had submerged him in icy water. The thought that Keith could have known Lance loved him, could have known for _years_ , and still did what he did was…

 

“Keith’s bad with emotions,” he struggled to get out. “He’s not good at recognizing his own emotions. He’s shit at seeing other peoples. He… he couldn’t have known.”

 

But Pidge was just as bad. She avoided her own feelings and didn’t recognize other people’s feelings until they explain them to her with no room to argue. She hadn’t know she was hurting him with her comments until he broke down in tears back in high school, but she knew he loved Keith before he did.

 

‘Its kinda all over your face’ she had said. Shiro and Hunk and his siblings had all told him the same thing. He had worried and feared that Keith would see it too, but his friend had never said anything and didn’t treat him differently then he did before. Lance had been equal parts relieved and disappointed that Keith didn’t know. But what if he was just ignoring Lance’s feelings to save their friendship?

 

“He…” Did Keith know that Lance loved him? Was that why Keith stopped talking to him when he left college?

 

“Shh,” Lotor cooed. His thumb brushed Lance’s cheek in a comforting manor and placed a kiss to his hair. “It’s alright, my love. I’m sorry I upset you, I just don’t want you to blame yourself for others mistakes. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

 

“Can… Can we not talk about this anymore?” Lance pleaded. His voice was small and weak and to his horror, Lance felt tears prickle at his eyes. “I just… I’m tired. Can we go to bed?”

 

“Of course, my dear.” Lotor gave a few kisses to Lance’s temple and forehead between his words. “I’m sorry. Upsetting you wasn’t my intention.”

 

“It’s ok, I just… never considered that he could have known.”

 

-

 

Lance had been telling Lotor about the time he and his siblings turned their entire living room into the best blanket fort ever and how his parents let it stay that way for the entire weekend when Lotor had gotten a confused look on his face. “Lance, dear, what is a blanket fort?”

 

Lance mirrored the confused look before one of dawning horror replaced it.

 

“Ohh,” Lance cooed sympathetically. “Oh, Lotor, babe… I thought Allura was the only one.”

 

Lotor grew all the more confused and alarmed by the sudden sadness. They had been having a wonderful evening, he didn’t know what he had done to ruin it. He reached out to pet Lance’s hair, hoping to comfort his distressed boyfriend. “Lance-”

 

“This injustice needs to be righted!” Lance declared while standing from the couch. “You stay here, I’m gonna go look for supplies. We’re making you the best blanket fort!”

 

Lotor only watched as Lance sped away, confused beyond belief. He wanted to follow after him and ask once again what a ‘blanket fort’ was, but Lance wasn’t that great with answering questions while he was distracted with a project, so he turned to the next best thing. He pulled his phone out and sent a text to Allura.

 

_‘What in the name of the ancients is a blanket fort?’_

 

“Ah-HA!” Lance shouted victoriously from another room. “I found your linen closet!”

 

_‘Allura please answer.’_

_‘Is Lance making you a blanket fort??? LUCKY! He makes them for me when Im homesick or stressed.’_

_‘Yes, but what IS it?’_

_‘Its kind of hard to explain but its wonderful. Very peaceful and relaxing youll love it.’_

 

By now, Lance had returned to the living room with a small mountain of his extra sheets and blankets that he placed on the love seat. He began rearranging Lotor’s furniture, pushing the coffee table against the wall and twisting the sitting chairs. “Can you go grab some of the chairs in the kitchen? The tall ones by the island?”

 

Lotor still had no clue what Lance’s goal was, but he wasn’t about to stop him, so he went to go get two of the requested chairs. When he returned, Lance had removed all the cushions from the couches and seats and placed them on the ground and was now unfolding blankets over them. He put the chairs down and went to go get the rest. This time, Lance had began laying the sheets over the backs of the chairs.

 

He grabbed one of the bar stools from Lotor with a quick ‘thanks babe’ before going back to his creation. Lotor leaned against the wall and watched him, but still had no idea what he was doing. He debated asking Axca to possibly explain better then Allura, but she had gone to just as many boot camps as him so she may not know either. Maybe Ezor or Zethrid?

 

Lance darted out of the room for a minute and returned with all of the pillows from Lotor’s guest bedroom before quickly ducked inside of the cave like creation. Lotor could hear him rearranging and moving things before he jumped back out. “Tada!” Lance sang proudly, arms outstretched towards what Lotor assumed was the fort and smile blinding. “Pretty great huh?”

 

“Umm…” was all Lotor could say. Lance was clearly proud of it, but Lotor hadn’t a clue what he was looking at. He felt like he was visiting a new country for the first time again and didn’t know how to do something as simple as turn on the shower.

 

“Not my best work,” Lance continued on as if he hadn’t heard Lotor. “But this is just to give you the basic idea and feeling. We can do a better one later.” With that, Lance pulled back one of the dangling sheets and waved his arm in a ‘come inside’ gesture.

 

Lotor hesitated for a moment before crawling inside.

 

_Oh._

 

The outside of the fort was a mess, but inside of it was. Nice. Very nice actually. The cushions from the couches and the blankets were soft and Lance had arranged the pillows into an artful nest. The light was dim and filtered through the sheets wonderfully, achieving what most coffee shops and high class cafe’s could only dream of. It was small. Lotor was certain that he wouldn’t even be able to stretch his arms out without ruining Lance’s work, but it was by no means cramped and felt more cozy then anything else. Lotor got comfortable among the pillows and cushions, still eyeing the little haven in wonder. Lance crawled in and settled next to him, cuddling into his side perfectly.

 

Lotor felt something inside him loosen and relax, a tension that he didn’t even know he carried draining out of him.

 

“Oh,” he breathed.

 

Lance giggled, happy and relaxed and Lotor felt himself falling deeper in love at the sound. “See? Pretty great, huh?”

 

“Yes,” Lotor whispered. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt like everything was meant to be quiet and soft in the fort. “It’s… It’s wonderful Lance, thank you.”

 

Lance smiled at him and kissed the back of his hand. “Your welcome. Next time we’ll have to make one at Allura’s. She’s got this sunken in sitting area in her living room that just __perfect__ for blanket forts, but we’re defiantly bring your sheets and blankets. These are probably the softest sheets I’ve ever felt. Ohh, maybe we can take the girls with us. Allura would like that and we would have more then enough space to…”

 

Lotor smiled and sighed, more content with life then he could ever remember being. He listened to the sound of Lance’s voice and enjoyed the warmth of him cuddled close to him.

 

Later, he remembered to text Allura. _‘If every world meeting took place in a blanket fort, the planet would know no war.’_

_‘RIGHT??!!?’_

 

-

 

One cannot rush perfection. Lance knew this well and he had thought Lotor knew it too, but apparently not.

 

Because Lance told Lotor to pick him up at 6:30 for their date, not 6:00. Lance had only just decided which color of eyeliner to put on, he was in no way ready to stand in public next to the god of beauty and elegance that was Lotor! Sure, Lotor always insisted that Lance was the more beautiful one of them, but he also seemed to understand that Lance enjoyed the process of getting ready and that the results were worth the wait.

 

“Just a second!” Lance called out. This was the first time Lotor was this early to pick him up, had something happened?

 

But when he opened the door, it wasn’t Lotor standing in the hallway of his apartment building with a charming smile and perfect hair. It was Keith.

 

“Keith? Wha… What are you doing here?”

 

Keith glared at him. “Just making sure you were still _alive_ ,” he snapped. He walked past Lance and into the apartment. He turned to face him, everything about him screaming anger at Lance. “I mean it’s only been what- three weeks since I last saw or heard from you? Oh no, three and a half,” he growled out. Keith threw his arms up in the air. “What the hell, Lance?”

 

“Keith, you shouldn’t be here right now,” Lance started to protest. Keith wasn’t supposed to be here. He still hadn’t decided if he could try rebuilding their friendship for the third time or if it would just cause trouble for the life he was making with Lotor. He wasn’t sure if he could handle being around Keith.

 

“No!” Keith shouted. “I’m not leaving until you tell me whats wrong with you! You’ve been distant and… and weird for weeks before you stopped talking to me and I want to know why!”

 

Lance bit his lip. “Keith, I’m sorry I haven’t been calling, but I… Look, I can’t talk to you right now and you need to go.”

 

Keith’s posture softened. His shoulders slumped and he brought one of his hands up to slide down his face. He took a deep breath to try to calm himself and looked at Lance in an almost pleading way. “Why can’t you just _talk_ to me…?”

 

Why was this so hard? Why did Keith even come over here? Why did he care so much about one of the guys he fucking? Was it because they use to be friends?

 

“I’m seeing someone and I…” Lance paused as he watched Keith’s face drop. His irritation and anger drained away and left a shocked look in it’s wake. “It’s gotten serious and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

 

Keith opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He closed it, then opened it again, struggling to find words. “… How long…?”

 

Lance looked away, feeling the guilt harden somewhere in his chest. “More then a month…”

 

Dark violet eyes scrunched close and Keith’s mouth twisted. “We were still…”

 

“I know,” Lance sighed regretfully. “I know… I didn’t want to stop being with you if me and Lotor didn’t work out… but then I… I just…”

 

“You what?” Keith spat out. His eyes opened into a narrow glare, anger and hurt making an ugly mixture. “You fucking __what__ , Lance?”

 

“I think I’m falling in love with him.”

 

Lance watched as all the color drain from Keith’s face and his violet eyes went wide. The breath left Keith’s lugs like someone had punched him.

 

“Keith?” Lance asked hesitantly. He reached a hand out to touch his friends shoulder, but Keith backed away like Lance had burnt him. He shook his head, like he was denying what he just heard and to Lance’s horror, he saw Keith’s eyes turn glossy and wet. Keith’s breathing went… weird. Shaky and short, like he was trying not to cry.

 

“You…” Keith’s voice was little more then a whisper. He made a wounded, weak sound that shocked Lance to his core because he had never heard Keith made a sound like that. He had never heard Keith sound so vulnerable. His friend seemed to have the same thought, because he slapped one gloved hand over his mouth as if he could capture the sound.

 

Keith turned and ran from Lance, throwing his front door open and slamming it behind him.

 

“Keith!” Lance called after him. He started to follow after the other boy, but stopped before he could open his door. Keith was upset and he had never liked when other people saw him cry. He obviously didn’t want to see Lance or to have Lance see him this emotional.

 

He needed to let Keith go. He had to for his own good.

 

Lance backed away from his door, his hand falling back to his side from where it had been reaching for the handle.

 

Lotor would be there to pick him up soon, he can talk to Keith later.

 

-

 

The restaurant was classy. It was the kind of place you needed reservations a month before hand to get into. The waiters wore dark suits and harpist played classical music in the corner. Crystal chandlers hung from the high ceiling and long drapes framed every tall window. Everyone wore pressed suits and beautiful gowns and they were no exception. Lotor had gotten the suit for Lance as a surprise and it was easily the most expensive thing he owned.

 

Lotor had pulled out all the stops for their date tonight and normally Lance would be dazzled and awed, but his mind was elsewhere. More specifically, he couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Keith’s face when he said that he loved Lotor. He looked like someone had gutted him. Like being mauled would have been less painful.

 

“Lance, dear, is everything alright?” Lotor asked. Lance snapped back into reality, where his boyfriend was growing more concerned by the minute. “You seem distracted.”

 

“Yeah…” he said slowly. He cleared his throat and shook his head to right himself. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry about that.”

 

Lotor’s head tilted to the side. His smile was teasing but his eyes looked displeased. “Didn’t we talk about honesty, love?”

 

“... Keith showed up at my apartment a half hour before you picked me up. He was mad that I haven’t been talking to him.”

 

The smile left Lotor’s face. He looked at Lance with a blank neutrality. “Did he hurt you?”

 

“No!” Lance defended, maybe a bit too loudly. ”No, Keith would never. He just doesn’t know how to handle emotions. Don’t worry, I told him I was in a relationship and that was why I haven’t… well… yeah. He left and nothing happened.”

 

“Oh Lovely, I never doubted your faithfulness. I was only worried about your well being.”

 

“Thank you Lotor. I’m sorry I’ve been so scatter brained tonight.”

 

“Actually, I’ve been wanting to ask you something rather important,” Lotor continued. He took one of Lance’s hands and placed a kiss to the back. “You know that I love you, don’t you?”

 

Lance smiled at his boyfriend teasingly. “What’s not to love?”

 

“Exactly,” Lotor agreed with a chuckle. “I’ve been thinking on this for a while, and I would like to hear your opinion on it.”

 

“On what?”

 

“Living together,” Lotor answered. Lance was stunned silent, so Lotor continued on. “I love you, Lance. I love having you near me and I love the warmth and brightness you bring to my home. It doesn’t feel right when you aren’t there.”

 

“I…”

 

Lotor tightened the hold he had on Lance’s hand. “Are you against the idea?”

 

“No!” Lance protested quickly. “No, I’m really not, it’s just… don’t you think it’s a bit soon? That we’re moving too fast?”

 

Lotor pursed his lips for a moment before answering. “It feels natural. It feels like I’ve been waiting my entire life to make a home with you. When I think of the future, I can’t imagine one without you beside me. Do you want that too?”

 

A future with Lotor? A future with a handsome, wealthy man who loved him? Lance… had never thought of it. He hadn’t wanted to hope for one because it seemed so impossible. This is the stuff only found in romance novels, a perfect man falling in love with an everyday girl and wanting a life and a future with her. Well at least Lance had more personality in his big toe then half of those heroins.

 

But was a future with Lotor really impossible? They were in a relationship after all and Lotor had been nothing but loving to him. Lotor wanted a future so what was holding Lance back?

 

“I do want that,” Lance told him softly. Lotor’s shoulders relaxed.

 

“So? Would you be against moving in with me? Starting a life together?”

 

Lance smiled and squeezed Lotor’s hand. “I would love to move in with you, Lotor.”

 

-

 

Nyma had learned much in her years working at various bars. She knew how to watch out for creeps trying to slip something into drinks and how to calm down an angry drunk and what numbers to dial to call a few cabs at closing time.

 

Another thing she knew how to recognize was a broken heart and Keith was nothing if not a perfect example of one.

 

Thankfully, they were never very busy on Wednesday nights and she had more then enough time to chat with the guy. “Aww, Keith,” she cooed. “Come on, tell Nyma your woes. Whats got you so down?”

 

Keith looked up from his drink and Nyma was reminded of all those ‘Adopt a Pet’ commercials that came out during the holidays. He looked as pitiful as a soaking wet kitten alone in the cardboard box because all its siblings had already found loving homes. He blinked at her slowly, eyes sad and wet with tears. “Lance is seeing someone...”

 

Nyma hissed in sympathy. She knew the situation there. Keith had come into the bar and gone on enough drunken rants about the guy that she had recognized him on sight the first and only time Keith brought him to the club.

 

“He said that he loves him,” Keith admitted, sounding close to tears.

 

“Hey now, cheer up,” Nyma said with a forced smile. “You’re a good looking guy, I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone else in no time!” God knows he would. Keith was the kind of good looking that made heads turn and he normally had to turn down more then one guy every time he came to the bar. Rolo had been all but love struck by Keith since the first time he walked into the bar. “You know, I think Rolo would-”

 

“I don’t _want_ anyone else,” Keith interrupted hotly. He sniffed sadly and looked back at his drink. “I don’t want anyone but Lance. It’s __always__ just been Lance…”

 

Pity and guilt made an ugly combination as they rolled around in Nyma’s stomach. She refilled his glass when he pushed in towards her and left Beezer to man the bar while she slipped in the back. She found Rolo counting up the inventory and leaned against the wall.

 

“Keith’s pretty heart broken out there.”

 

Rolo turned and looked at her, curious and almost concerned. “How badly?”

 

She grimaced. “Almost in tears and drinking his liver into an early death.”

 

Rolo winced. “Damn,” he said with a shake of his head.

 

“Yeah… It’s sad to watch. I’m afraid you don’t have much of a shot with him.”

 

Her friend looked down and nodded, accepting his unrequited crush easily and with a bit of sadness. He turned back to continue taking inventory before he spoke again. “I know you were just trying to help me out when you chased Lance away, but I kinda wish you hadn’t.”

 

Nyma sighed sadly. “Yeah, me too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened.
> 
> Yep. Nyma lied to Lance that night because she was trying to be a good friend and help Rolo get his crush. Didn’t work.
> 
> If you feel like screaming your feelings at me, please do so in the comment section below or find me here on Tumblr: http://likeaslaptotheface.tumblr.com/
> 
> Also, I told you guys a month and its the 30th so I made it! Next chapters going to be a lot shorter, but will probably be out sooner.


	3. Chapter 3

Keith knew that this would happen. Since the moment Lance agreed to start this whole mess, he knew that it wouldn’t last, that it was too good to last. He knew that the nights they spent together would just be a fun way to pass the time until someone better came along. He knew it was coming and had known it since they started sleeping together, but it still hurt.

 

He had thought they were alright. He thought Lance was happy, or at the very least satisfied, with him and the arrangement they had. Lance had always been a commitment kind of guy and Keith had clung to that, hoping that maybe if he just stayed long enough and showed Lance how good they could be together that… that…

 

He’s so fucking stupid.

 

He knew he was unwanted. He had gone threw more then a dozen foster families because he was unwanted, both by the families and his parents. He still thought it was a minor miracle that the Shirogane’s had wanted to adopt him when he was fifteen. He should know better then to hope for impossible things by now.

 

He’s the fucking fool who kept exposing himself to subtle encouragements that made the hope in his chest grow. The way Lance looked at him when they fucked slow and gentle. When Lance tried to make him breakfast the morning after. The way Lance would hold him and stroke his hair while they caught their breath. All of the tender moments shared between them left Keith’s heart pounding and his mind wondering. Could Lance feel the same way?

 

But no.

 

Lance doesn’t feel the same way. He loves Keith like he loves Hunk and Pidge. Keith is a friend and he was a fuck buddy until Lance found someone better to replace him. He knew Lance would never love Keith in return. Keith had fallen for a beautiful flirt of a man who drew people in like moths to a flame. Lance was a dream, he was everything Keith wanted.

 

Keith wonders if it would have been easier not knowing what he could have. Would loosing Lance hurt less if he didn’t know the taste of his skin, the sound of his voice while he moaned Keith’s name, or the softness of his lips when Keith kissed him goodnight before going home to a cold bed?

 

He wants to forget. He wants to forget the way Lance smiles and the warmth that Keith aches for. He knows its impossible though. Eight months alone in the desert couldn’t make him forget Lance. Keith’s a fool to think he can drown the memory of Lance saying ‘I think I love him’ away with cheap liquor.

 

But Keith’s been a fool for Lance since high school, so that’s nothing new.

 

-

 

Lance was woken up by the sound of someone pounding on the door of his apartment. Lotor groaned from behind him, his arm wrapping tighter around Lance’s hip and nuzzling his forehead between his shoulders. Lance was so ok with falling back asleep like that, wrapped up in the arms of a sleepy and cuddly boyfriend. But the banging wouldn’t fucking stop and it kept pulling Lance further into dreadful wakefulness.

 

He pushed himself up slowly and grumbled under his breath. Lotor made a noise of protest when Lance started to slip from his arms. “’m gonna go see who’s’at the door,” he sleepily slurred to Lotor, who gave a soft groan before letting go of Lance and rolling onto his other side. His boyfriend fell back asleep easily and Lance wish he could join him.

 

Lance sat up and took a moment to stretch and yawn and rub the sleep out of his eyes. The two had ended up falling asleep in Lance’s bed trying to make plans for Lance to move out. Lotor had wanted to just let one of the girls handle it or hire a moving company, but Lance had insisted they could do it.

 

He and Lotor had been talking to his landlady today about him moving out. She was very understanding and Lotor had utterly charmed her. Afterwards, they had started making plans for all the furniture and appliances Lance had. Lotor had just about everything they would ever need in his own apartment so Lance wouldn’t have to bring much, but that left the question of what he was going to do with what he had.

 

Another hard bang brought Lance back into action, leaving his bedroom and down the short hall until he was at the front door. He looked through the peep hole and almost choked on his spit.

 

He hadn’t seen Keith for days. Not since the last time he came over demanding to know why Lance had been ignoring his calls and then running out when he found out that he was now in a relationship. What on Earth was he doing here at (shit what time was it?) looking shit faced drunk and… was he crying?

 

Lance debated for a few seconds, then unlocked and opened the door.

 

Keith looked like a mess. A somewhat hot mess who looked like he had just came back from a night club, but a mess none the less. His eyes were red and puffy and wet with tears, his face was blotchy, and his mouth was pulled into an unattractive frown. Keith always had been an ugly crier, it was probably the only time he looked ugly.

 

“Lance,” Keith said in a tiny, sad voice. There was a part of Lance who wanted to pull Keith into his arms, wanted to run his fingers through the tangles in his hair and whisper that everything was alright now, that Keith was safe.

 

But that was probably the part of him that left him heartbroken and pinning for years for the friend who only wanted him for sex. He wasn’t going to listen to that part of him again.

 

“What are you doing here Keith? Have you been drinking?”

 

Keith rubbed roughly at his cheeks and nodded while trying to force down a whimper. “Lance,” he repeated. His bottom lip quivered before he bit into it harshly enough that Lance winced.

 

He looked too pathetic to just slam the door in his face. “Come on man,” Lance sighed. He really hoped he wouldn’t regret this. Keith followed him into his living room quietly, the occasional sniffle letting Lance know he was there. Lance rose his arms above his head to stretch and gave a satisfied sigh when something popped in his back. “Sit down,” he said. “I’ll get you some water and call a cab for you.”

 

Lance heard Keith made a little noise of protest and that was the only warning he got before the drunk man threw himself at Lance’s back. Lance stumbled and only just managed to catch himself before they both went tumbling down. Keith’s arms wrapped around Lance like a vice and grabbed fistfuls of the t-shirt he wore. He rubbed his wet face against Lance’s back and sniffled.

 

“ _No_. No, nonono,” Keith whined and hiccuped into his shirt. “ _Lance_.”

 

He was regretting this already.

 

“Keith, quit it-”

 

“No.”

 

“Keith. Seriously dude, knock it off.”

 

“Please, Lance, _please_ ,” Keith sobbed and trembled. He pressed himself impossibly closer against Lance. “One more time?”

 

Oh _fuck_ no.

 

“No. Keith, no.” Keith sobbed softly in response and continued to nuzzle his face into Lance’s back. “I’m not doing this again, stop it.”

 

“I’m… I’m sorry, Lance, please! Just one more time. I’ll sto-stop after that, but please. I _need_ you Lance.”

 

Lance grabbed one of Keith’s arms and tried to pull it away, but Keith always had been stronger then him and Lance was still groggy from sleep. They wrestled for a while before Keith manged to get his arms round Lance again, this time facing his chest, and clung for dear life with one arm across his shoulders and the other wrapped around his back. Keith hid his face in the crook of Lance’s neck, hot breath hitting Lance’s skin. “Keeeeiith,” Lance whined. He was way too tired to deal with this.

 

“I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve you, how could I deserve you? But please… I’ll be good for you, haven’t I always been good for you?” Keith rubbed himself against Lance like a cat in heat, just like he had done many times before, but Lance was far too irritated for it to have the desired affect on him. The Cuban man gave an irritated huff and tried again to wiggle out of Keith’s hold.

 

“Keith, I’m in a relationship, you know this.”

 

“I don’t care!” Keith shouted. His squirming had stopped and he backed up enough to look Lance in the eyes. Fresh tears were clinging to his dark eyelashes. “I don’t care that you love someone else! I need you Lance! Just… Just- please! I need you!”

 

“Keith-”

 

“ _I need you_! I need you, I n-need you. I don’t want to be without you,” Keith almost whispered. “Lance, please… I love-”

 

“Lance,” Lotor’s sleepy voice called from the hallway. Keith jerked as if he had been shocked and Lance watched his face slowly crumble into despair. He hid his face against Lance’s neck again, tightening his hold around Lance and trembled with barely contained sobs. Lotor came around the corner, hair a beautiful mess and eyes barely open.

 

His pretty eyes snapped open once he took in the scene before him, all traces of sleep gone in an instant. “Love, what’s going on?” he asked calmly and clearly.

 

Keith’s hold on Lance went slack and Lance took the chance to push Keith onto the couch. The other boy went down with small noise, half startled and half protesting. Lotor’s eyes followed the movement intensely. “Keith’s a little drunk. I’m gonna get him some water and call a taxi for him. I’m sorry for waking you up, babe, you can go back to sleep.”

 

Lotor slowly shook his head, face carefully blank and eyes never leaving Keith’s slumped over form on the couch. Lance swallowed hard, he didn’t like the way Lotor was looking at Keith. He looked like he was planning how to get rid of a body. He took a hesitant step closer to Lotor. “Babe?”

 

Lotor blinked and looked at Lance as if he just realized he was in the room. The look eased into a soft, adoring smile after a moment. “You’re so kind, Lance,” Lotor said sweetly. “Not many would open their doors up to a sad drunk at three in the morning. You go call the taxi and get water, I’ll keep an eye on Keith for you.”

 

Everything in Lance relaxed and he returned the smile to Lotor. “Thank you so much, Love.”

 

Keith curled up on Lance’s couch and wrapped his arms around himself.

 

-

 

Twenty very quiet and very awkward minutes later, Lance was giving the taxi driver Keith’s address and forty bucks to get him home. Keith was curled up in the backseat, looking at Lance with fresh tears in his eyes while Lance waved goodbye before returning to his apartment building.

 

Lotor was waiting for him in his bed, arms open and smile gentle. Lance all but threw himself into them, placing quick little kisses on Lotor’s lips.

 

“I’m sorry.” kiss “I’m-” kiss “-sorry.” kiss. kiss. “I’m so sorry, Lotor.”

 

Lotor chuckled softly against Lance’s lips. “It’s alright, my heart,” he cooed. “You are far too kind and compassionate to not help him. It’s not your fault he took advantage of that.”

 

Lance hummed in response and gave a long, lingering kiss to Lotor. How did he get so lucky to have a man this amazing in love with him?

 

-

 

Keith woke up that afternoon feeling like shit. He had curled up in bed and cried his broken heart out into his pillow after the taxi dropped him off. His head was pounding and his throat still hurt from all his choked sobbing. He grabbed his phone from the jeans he was still wearing to check the time, but a text from Lance was the first thing that he saw in the middle of his notifications. He ignored the missed calls and texts from Shiro and the social media notes and opened Lance’s text.

 

_‘Did you make it home safe?’_

 

Keith closed his eyes and took a big breath before slowly letting it out. Lance __would__ be the guy to worry about you getting home safe after you wake him up in the early hours of the morning to beg for sex and cry on him. God, Keith wished he wasn’t so perfect.

 

_‘Yeah…? How u know I went out?’_

 

It was easier to lie. It was easier to pretend that Keith didn’t remember harassing Lance and humiliating himself last night. Easier to forget that he had almost told Lance that he loved him while his perfect boyfriend slept in the other room. God, why does Keith do stupid things like this?

 

_‘Cause you came over here? You owe me 40 for the taxi home btw’_

_‘Shit no way im sorry man’_

_‘Its ok. Maybe don’t try to pee in my house plant next time though lol’_

 

Keith felt his lips twitch into a crooked smile and he scoffed out a short laugh. Oh, this little shit.

 

_‘NO. Tell me ur lying lance’_

_‘Afraid not, Keithy-boy :)’_

__

Keith smiled at his phone, soft and genuine. He had a killer headache, felt like he was gonna puke if he moved, he had work in a few hours at his shitty job, and had three missed calls from his worried older brother but he was smiling like a fool.

 

Keith was so, so in love with this boy.

 

-

 

The next day, Keith forced himself out of his apartment and into the outside world to go to work.

 

He was just walking past the recently closed down bakery when he felt someone grab the back of his shirt and pull. He tried to twist to see who had grabbed him but he was yanked off balance. For one second he was falling and in the next he was being tossed aside hard enough to send him flying into the filthy ally between buildings.

 

He landed hard on his shoulder and hip. He was down for barely a second before a hard kick met the side of his ribs hard enough to force him onto his back. He didn’t have the chance to get up before a dark skinned woman wearing green lipstick and a crazed grin was on him. She pinned his thighs to the ground and grabbed a hold on his shirt in one of her hands. He grabbed her wrist, hoping to break her hold but she was quicker. The first punch hit him like a brick to the face and the pain left him dazed. She slammed her fist into his face once, twice, three times. Keith lost count of how many times she punched him.

 

Keith tasted blood. He couldn’t think past the pain, he could react, his instincts were failing him.

 

“That’s enough, Zethrid,” someone said. “We don’t want to knock him out now do we?” She huffed, but stopped hitting him and got off him. He laid there for a few seconds, dizzy with pain and unable to move despite his instincts screaming at him to.

 

He forced himself to roll onto his side ignoring the ache it caused and began to push himself up. He needed to get out of there.

 

“Ezor.”

 

The hard kick to his ribs sent him right back to the filthy ground. The second and third kick landed perfectly in his stomach and left him gagging and coughing. He curled in on himself, waiting for the next kick. Then a hand was closing around his throat and another grabbed a fistful of his hair and began dragging him up from the ground. He was slammed into the brick wall brutally, barely able to breath and came face to face with a thin woman with the brightest blue eyes he has ever seen. She had a taunting smirk on her face and honestly didn’t look like she had much upper body strength, but she had dragged him up against the wall one handed.

 

She smirked at him and stepped back, letting go of his throat. Keith sagged against the wall, legs shaking and mind screaming at him to run, fight, do _something_!

 

“Narti.”

 

Keith had just barely caught a glimpse of a third woman with a hood covering most of her face out of the corner of his eye before her spinning kick sent him flying. He landed in the pile of old trash bags and cold puddle of rain water from last nights rain. The bags smelt disgusting, but they were a softer landing then the concrete ground.

 

Keith curled in on himself waiting for the next hit to come, but it didn’t. He dared to open his eyes to look at his attackers.

 

Five people stood over him. Behind the five, Keith could see the backs of a few suited men guarding the opening of the alley. Four woman who looked more ready for a lunch date then a mugging and … Lotor.

 

“This is the guy who Lancy was so hung up on?” the skinny woman with bright eyes said. One of her thin eye brows were raised and she never lost her amused smile. “Wow. He upgraded.”

 

“Yes,” Lotor said casually while he looked down at Keith, the amusement on his face open for all to see. The older man looked ready for a business meeting in his dark gray suit and perfect hair. “He did, Ezor.”

 

Keith glared back as well as he could. He started to get up, but something told him he would just be kicked down again. “ _What the fuck_?!” he snarled.

 

“Hello, Keith,” Lotor said calmly, a mocking smile pulling at his lips. “You and I need to have a chat. I know I could have just invited you for coffee, but I prefer this option. It gets the point across better, don’t you think?”

 

Lotor walked closer to Keith, the women parting for him without a sound and Keith tensed up, waiting for another blow. Instead, Lotor knelt down so he could look Keith in the eye better not seeming to care about the filth getting on his slacks. “I have an issue with you, Keith, and that issue is how close you are to Lance.”

 

The mention of Lance made Keith flinch. Lotor’s smile became all the more vicious.

 

Oh god, Lance.

 

Lance is _dating_ this psycho!

 

A protective rage filled Keith and he roared. “I swear to God, _if you’ve hurt him_ -”

 

The backhanded slap Lotor gave him snapped Keith’s face to the side. He groaned in pain before slowly turning back to Lotor. All traces of a smile or amusement of any kind were gone and all that was left was cold rage. “If you dare to ever insinuate that I have abused Lance in anyway again, I’ll cut your tongue out myself.”

 

Lotor stood up, looking down at Keith. “You are going to halt any and all contact and communications with Lance as of immediately. No speaking, texting, or meeting face to face of any kind. If you do, then this will not be the last time you see me or my girls. And I won’t stop them from doing more lasting damage next time. I may even tell them to make it permanent.”

 

“I’ll tell Lance,” Keith spat at Lotor. “He’ll want nothing to do with you once he finds out how fucked up you really are.”

 

“Ohh, but if you do that then a Garrison officer might find drugs in your brothers room while their doing a random check. Or maybe your landlord will suddenly find a reason to evict you. I can’t decide which is a better idea.”

 

Keith’s stomach had turned to lead the moment Lotor brought up Shiro. He couldn’t, the rational part of his brain said, Lotor may be wealthy but he doesn’t have that kind of power.

 

“My father’s corporation is massive,” Lotor tells him with a smirk. “Its no surprise that it has a hand in less then legal dealings. We have men everywhere and anyone can be bought or blackmailed. I’m not afraid to use those methods in order to get rid of the threat to my and Lance’s future.”

 

“Why do you not want me seeing Lance so badly?! We’ve been friends for years and it was just sex, I’m not a threat to you!”

 

Lotor threw his head back and gave a harsh, unamused laugh before looking back down at Keith, anger making his eyes dark. “How stupid are you? Lance doesn’t keep things from me, he has told me everything. Including how painful it was for his friend and first love to use him for sex. The ache of being reduced to nothing but a quick fuck before you ran off to find another. You dare to think I have hurt him when you left unseen scars that will last a lifetime.”

 

“You will leave Lance alone if you know whats good for you. If you ever need the comfort, remember that this is what is best for Lance as well. He will want for nothing now and well be treasured and loved for the rest of his days with me. If he continued to hold onto you, he would have been dragged down as low as you are. Lance is the best of humanity. He is brilliant and compassionate and beautiful to the very core of his being. He deserves nothing less then all the love in the world. He deserves better then a college dropout turned slut that was too blind to see the treasure that could have been his.”

 

Lotor spun around after that and began walking out of the alley, the four women following after him in perfect order. The men blocking the alley opening to any curious eyes parted for them, one going ahead to open the door to a sleek sports car that was probably more expensive then Keith’s entire student debt. Lotor and his girls got in smoothly and drove off.

 

Keith’s heart was still pounding in his chest.

 

-

 

The first time Keith saw Lance, he was sitting alone during lunch on his first day of school because he was once again the new kid and no one wanted to talk to him. He was use to this and would be fine with staying this way for the rest of his high school years, but Shiro had made him promise that he would try to make friends. It wasn’t going well.

 

Despite the loudness of the crowded room, packed with teenagers trying to talk over each other, Keith had heard the bright, happy laughter clearly. He found himself searching for the score of the noise and boy did he ever find it.

 

The boy was sitting on top of the table so he had height over most of the people. He was brown skinned and skinny with broad shoulders and a long face. His head was thrown back with the force of his laughter and Keith was struck by how pretty the boy was. He was surrounded by people who were laughing with him, everyone looking happy as could be, and Keith felt an ache that he was all too familiar with.

 

He wanted that. He wanted to belong and have people like him and be wanted like that.

 

The boy had something magnetic about him. Keith noticed him everywhere once he saw him. He would steal glances in class and in the hallways and eventually learned that the boys name was Lance. Lance never stopped being pretty and he seemed to always have a friend by his side or someone aching for his attention.

 

Keith had plenty of opportunities to make friends. A lot of girls had tried to talk with him in his first few weeks, but none of them were given a moment of his attention. Lance had stolen all of it with his loud laughter and bright smiles and long legs. Even when Lance’s face would drop into a glare when he looked at Keith, he didn’t care. Keith was fixated and mesmerized by Lance.

 

He had hoped that the ache would leave him once he and Lance became friends after the train wreck of a group project and Keith’s fight with Sendek, but it just became worse. Spending time with Lance, getting to know him and being near him just left Keith greedy for more. He wanted to spend all his time with Lance, know him better then anyone else, and be the only person Lance looked at with his pretty blue eyes.

 

But Lance drew people in like a flame does to moths and Keith wasn’t the only one captivated by him. When Lance announced he was dating someone, an ugly rage filled his blood and a nauseating sadness settled over his chest. He spent hours beating the punching bag at the gym trying to get rid of his anger and accepted every hug and cuddle Shiro and Hunk would offer to ease his sadness, but nothing worked until Lance and the girl broke up a month later.

 

He didn’t understand what he was feeling, but that was nothing new. Shiro had smiled and said he had a crush.

 

He had a crush on Lance.

 

No. He couldn’t have a crush on Lance! He was going to ruin everything. Lance wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore and Hunk and Pidge would follow his example because they’ve been friends with him longer. He didn’t want to lose them now that he finally had friends.

 

Shiro told him not to worry. He said that none of them would abandon Keith even if they did have an issue with his crush and that if he gave it time, the crush would fade away and be forgotten.

 

But it didn’t go away. Weeks and months and __years__ pasted and Keith found himself unwaveringly in love with one of his best friends through his entire high school experience. Lance dated people and Keith tried to hide how much he hated it. He kept his rage in check and took it out on the punching bag (and once on the jack ass ex who kept trying to start rumors about Lance) and didn’t tell Lance how he felt.

 

Lance wasn’t perfect. He could be annoying and competitive and he sometimes told jokes that Keith didn’t understand, but he was everything Keith wanted. Lance always knew what to say and never pushed Keith too far and wasn’t afraid to call him out when he was being a dick. He had a loud laugh and beautiful skin and pretty eyes. He had a kind heart and hidden insecurities and a warmth that Keith wanted to surround himself in for the rest of his life.

 

He loved Lance with all his heart and it broke the day Lance happily announced that he was moving to New York City for college.

 

Keith couldn’t bring himself to say it when they graduated high school. He couldn’t say it when they said goodbye at the airport. He couldn’t say it when he hit rock bottom and dropped out of college. He couldn’t say it when Lance was helping him settle down in New York. He almost choked himself to stop the words from spilling out a thousand times when they fucked.

 

But he has to say it now.

 

-

 

Moving sucked.

 

When Lance moved out of his parents home, he only had one room to pack up and even that had seemed like a hassle. He had no idea how he had gotten so much junk in the two years he had been in his little apartment, but he hated it.

 

He knew Lotor already had everything they would need in his own apartment, but that left the question of what Lance would be doing with all his furniture and small appliances.

 

He was more then grateful for the knock on the door because he was about to throw his phone across the room if Dave didn’t give him a straight answer about wanting his couch or not. He needed a damn break.

 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he called out when the knocking didn’t stop. “Yeah, wha- Keith?!”

 

He had been a drunken mess the last time Lance saw him, but now he was a beaten one. The start of some nasty bruises were forming on his face and his eye was already starting to swell. Blood slowly trickled from his nose and over his lips and chin. It looked like Keith had tried to wipe it away already, but gave up when more kept coming. He looked like he was favoring his left side and he had one of his arms gingerly wrapped around his ribs. His clothes were dirty and riddled with mystery stains and dirt and drying blood.

 

“Holy shit, Keith! What happened? Are you… Do you need...?”

 

“Can I come in Lance?”

 

Lance made an offended, disbelieving noise in response before carefully grabbing Keith’s (hopefully) uninjured wrist and gently pulling him through the door. “ _Can I come in Lance_ ,” he said in a mocking impression of Keith’s voice. “As if I would just say no and slam the door in your face or something. Jesus Keith.” He lead Keith into his half packed living room, now thankful that Dave couldn’t make up his damn mind about the couch and hadn’t picked it up yet. Keith sat down on the couch without protest, eyes sad and still focused on Lance.

 

“Hold on, I haven’t packed up the bathroom yet so just let me grab some stuff to get you cleaned up. Do you need ice?” Lance asked before he realized how stupid of a question that was. He shook his head before walking into his small bathroom to get his first aid kit. “Oh who am I kidding, of course you need ice. Dumb question. It’s like asking if you’re in pain!” He kept talking to Keith while he went to the kitchen to grab the ice pack he kept in the freezer, rushing back when he forgot to grab a hand towel to wrap around it.

 

Keith was still sitting on the couch and his attention was still hyper focused on Lance when he had all he needed and sat in front of Keith. He immediate started to gently clean away the blood on Keith’s face and was thankful to find that his nose has stopped bleeding. His split lip was another story. Lance quietly asking if anything felt broken or if he needed a hospital.

 

At the slow shakes of Keith’s head, Lance sputtered. “Are you sure you don’t need a hospital, Keith? As handsome as you are, I don’t think you can pull off a broken nose.” Lance kept talking while he worked, for the comfort of both of them. “I mean, sure, some guys can- but they kind of have to model their entire look around it. A cousin of mine has that issue. His entire wardrobe is filled with all these biker clothes and he just doesn’t look right without long stubble or a beard, you know? I mean he’s the nicest guy, but the broken nose just-”

 

“I love you.”

 

Lance froze, his brain shut down, everything shut down.

 

He couldn’t have heard that right, there was no… there was no possible way that those words had just came out of Keith’s bloodied lips. “Wh... What did you just say…?” Lance barely managed to get the question out because breathing was suddenly a near impossible feat.

 

“I love you,” Keith said again. The words sounded like a defeat, like Keith had been holding the world on his shoulders and had finally broken under the weight. His eyes were so sad, filled with a painful longing that was so very familiar to Lance, but foreign at the same time. “I love you so much, Lance.”

 

Lance’s eyes immediately filled with tears.

 

How long has he wanted Keith to say those words to him? Too long. How many times had he fantasized about it on lonely nights? Too many times. Lance had thought those words would make him so happy he would almost burst with it, but happiness was no where in the storm of emotions swirling inside him. Anger and heart crushing sadness and confusion and regret raged inside him.

 

He was happy. He was finally happy! He had a loving boyfriend who wanted a future together, who made promises of forever and looked at Lance like he was beautiful.

 

That boyfriend is not Keith, it can never be Keith because Keith wasn’t able to love him the way Lance loved Keith.

 

But now Keith loves him back.

 

“Fuck you,” Lance choked out. “ _Fuck you_.”

 

Keith brushed his thumb across Lance’s cheek, the motion so sweet that it made Lance’s heart clench. “Don’t cry,” Keith whispered to him. “I hate it when you cry. I’m sorry.”

 

Lance hid his wet face in his hands. “Fuck you, Keith Kogane! I hate you!”

 

“I love you,” Keith said again. He sounded like he was going to cry too. “It was never just sex, it was everything to me. _You_ are everything to me. It was only you, no one else. I don’t know where you got the idea that I wanted anyone else but you, but its a lie. It’s only you.”

 

“You broke my heart!” Lance sobbed. “You… You didn’t…”

 

“I’m so sorry, Lance,” Keith said, his voice trembled as much as his hands did when they curled around Lance’s wrists to pull them away from his face. Oh, Keith was crying too. Keith always has been an ugly crier. “I love you so much.” It was probably the only time he looked ugly, but Lance loved him regardless.

 

Keith’s ribs were bruised, his lip was split, he was sore, and in a world of pain but he didn’t complain when Lance threw his arms around him in a tight hug and cried into his dirty shirt. Keith ignored his aches and pains and clung to Lance just as tightly. When Lance whispered three words into his chest, Keith hid his face in Lance’s neck and cried because this beautiful, amazing boy with a smile that could light up Keith’s entire world loved him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted pain and I give you agony.  
> (If it helps, I was crying while I wrote that last part)
> 
> I apologize for my horrible writing with the fight scene. I have my strengths and writing action is not one of them. I'll stick to the angst.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr here: likeaslaptotheface.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say that I’m so sorry for how long it took to get this chapter up. At first it was the general craziness of the Christmas season, but then the water pipes at our house froze over and my sister and I got into a battle with our landlord over getting it fixed. The battle didn’t go well and kept getting dragged out so my sister and I eventually decided to just find a new place to rent. Then began the search, discovery, and moving of all our shit into the new place. Between that mess, work, and a social life, writing was sacrificed. 
> 
> So here’s 16,000+ words in a chapter (no doubt the biggest chapter this fic is going to have). I hope its a decent enough apology. Also, a big thank you to everyone for their heartfelt comments and support. You guys reminded me that this story is well loved and honestly made me tear up a couple times.

Lotor looked up from his laptop screen when he heard the door to his home office open. He honestly expected it to be Axca with the paperwork on Takashi Shirogane that he had asked for, but he was pleasantly surprised to find Lance leaning on the door frame. Tension that he didn’t realize he was carrying all but melted off his body and mind at the sight of his beloved. How had Lotor functioned before he had this boy?

 

Lance tapped the back of his knuckles against the open door twice. “Hey there handsome,” he greeted with a flirty smile. Lance closed the door behind him and walked into the room. “Mind some company?”

 

“I welcome the company if it is yours,” Lotor replied. His smile came as easily as breathing did, something he thought would never happen. “When did you arrive?”

 

Lance sat down on the couch in front of Lotor’s desk and made himself comfortable. Lotor was pleased to see how easily Lance was taking to what would soon be his home. “Not long ago. The girls said you’ve been busy all day, so I was visiting them a bit before I came to see you.”

 

“I see. Unfortunately, they weren’t lying about me being busy so I’m afraid I wont be very good company, my love,” Lotor told him, gesturing to his open laptop and the paperwork spread across his desk. “But I would enjoy listening to you talk about your day. Your voice is quite pleasant and it helps me to relax.”

 

Lance flushed happily. “I honestly had a very boring day. I’ve spent most of it trying to get rid of my couch,” Lance sighed unhappily, shoulders slumping. “Apparently everyone I know in this city already has one. I think I’m just gonna have to junk the thing. Not a big loss, sure, but I still…”

 

Lotor’s small and genuine smile, , remained on his face while he listened to Lance and sorted through his papers. It had been a long time since Lotor was this content with life and very soon this would become an everyday occurrence for them. He and Lance would have a happy life together with evenings like this, filled with Lance’s lovely voice and beautiful smile and warm presence. Lotor would have to show just how much he appreciated Lance later. Perhaps his boyfriend would appreciate a new cell phone?

 

When Lance’s voice stopped and the silence began to linger Lotor looked back to his boyfriend. Lance was watching him with an… odd look to his face. His smile was still on, though it rarely ever seemed to leave when Lotor was around. The rest of his face was neutral but his dark blue eyes had an almost calculating edge to them, like Lance was figuring out a complex puzzle or making a battle plan.

 

“Lance?”

 

As if his name had broken a spell, the young mans smile grew back to its former glory and the neutral blankness left. “You know, I just realized something about myself,” Lance said happily.

 

Lotor wanted to relax, he truly did, but something was whispering in the back of his mind that his guard needed to be up. Which was ridiculous. It was only Lance. He had nothing to fear from his beloved. “And what is that?”

 

“I’m a very forgiving person,” Lance stated proudly. “Ever since I was a kid, actually. I forgave my older brother when he forgot to pick me up from swim practice when I was six, I forgave my Aunt when she accidental ran over my kitten, I forgave Pidge when she forgot my birthday, and I forgave Keith for breaking my heart. See? Very forgiving person.”

 

At the mention of Keith Lotor felt his back go tense and his smile twitch into a snarl for a second before he could stop it. That man still lingered in his Lance’s mind. Lotor knew that the betrayal and abuse Lance had suffered would stay with him for possibly years to come, especially since Keith had once been a trusted friend, but it drove him mad.

 

“Forgiveness is a wonderful trait,” Lotor said casually. “But it is one that should be given in moderation or people will take advantage of it. Some people don’t deserve to be forgiven.”

 

Lotor listened to Lance hum thoughtfully, seeming to consider over his words. “That’s a very good point, Lotor,” Lance said slowly, nodding softly to himself.

 

Lotor smiled at his boyfriend, happy that Lance was seeing things the way Lotor wanted him to. Smart as his Lance is, Lotor has found that it was rather easy to influence him. He turned his attention back to the paperwork and was grateful that Lance wasn’t the nosy sort. He can’t imagine his boyfriend would be pleased or easily calmed if he found out that Lotor had his hands on Keith Kogane’s social services paperwork or his high school transcripts.

 

“Maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive youfor sending the girls after Keith earlier today.”

 

Lotor’s entire body was overcome with tension. His eyes darted over to where Lance was sitting and found that his smile was gone and his boyfriend looked very, very displeased.

 

He looked away quickly and stared at the report in his hand to avoid eye contact. How did he find out? And more importantly, how can he sooth Lance’s anger over this without further upsetting him?

 

“He told you.” Lotor’s voice was a quiet, dangerous whisper but Lance wasn’t fazed. He had thought Keith Kogane was a smart enough man to know to stay away, but apparently Lotor had put too much faith in the other mans common sense. Foolish on his part.

 

Now which punishment should he act on…

 

“He didn’t need to,” Lance said. He almost sounded calm if not for the sharpness of anger in his voice. That anger was clear on his face right now as he glared at Lotor. “The girls gave it away. Axca can’t look me in the eye, Narti is avoiding me, Ezor was nervous, and Zethrid has bruised knuckles but isn’t bragging about winning a fight. Keith is beaten bloody and won’t tell me who did it, but I’m not stupid, Lotor.”

 

Well. Lotor couldn’t argue with that.

 

He truly is foolish for having not seen this part of Lance sooner, this observant and coldly calculation part of him. It left him breathless.

 

Lance got up from the couch and walked over to Lotor, who was still looking at his paperwork blankly. Lance gently touched the side of Lotor’s face. “Look at me,” he said calmly, voice gentle and order undeniable. Lotor did as he said and looked up at Lance with guarded eyes. He stroked the sides of Lotor’s face before cupping in both hands it so Lotor couldn’t look away.

 

“I love you,” he stated strongly, punctuating each word carefully so Lotor had no room for doubt. “I love you _so much_ , Lotor.”

 

Dark blue eyes hardened and a sharp anger seeped into Lance’s voice. “--But I will not tolerate you hurting the people I care about. Keith fucked up. He broke my heart and in time I will forgive him for that because he is one of my best friends. If you ever do something like this again or follow through on whatever threats you made to keep Keith quiet, not only will I leave you, _I’ll tell Allura_. She will believe me and you and I both know that she is a hell of a lot less forgiving then I am.”

 

Lance leaned in closer to whisper in Lotor’s ear. “You’ll lose two of the people who love you.”

 

“That being said,” Lance started calmly. He let go of Lotor’s now significantly paler face and walked back to the couch in front of Lotor’s desk. “I’m going to talk to my landlord about continuing to live there for a while longer.”

 

Lotor’s head snapped to the side to look at Lance. He stood from his desk so quickly that the legs of his chair screeched against the wooden floor. He looked like he wanted to scream in protest, but he kept silent. Lance remained firm. “Calm down, Lotor. I still love you and I still want a life and future together, but I’m fucking furious at you right now and I don’t want to start our life together that way. I just need to be away from you for a little while.”

 

With that, Lance walked over to the door of Lotor’s office and opened it to leave. He turned back at looked at Lotor over his shoulder coldly. “Be grateful that I’m forgiving.”

 

-

 

Keith was exactly where Lance had left him when he went to pay a visit to Lotor - laying flat and stiffly on Lances bed. Lance knew he preferred to sleep on his side, but his bruised ribs wouldn’t let him lay any other way. Keith was still napping, but he slowly blinked his eyes open when Lance opened the door to his room. He didn’t say anything when Lance sat on the edge of the bed and didn’t protest when Lance ran his fingers through Keith’s dark hair.

 

“You don’t need to worry about Lotor anymore,” Lance said softly. Keith jerked and winced before looked at Lance with wide eyes. Lance gave a crooked smile in return. “I’m not as dumb as you guys seem to think. I can put two and two together.”

 

“You suck at math,” Keith murmured. Lance made an offended sound and put a hand to his chest in fake hurt. He dropped the act a few seconds later when Keith’s lips twitched into a smile.

 

“Whatever. I had a talk with Lotor. He wont be bothering or threatening you anymore.”

 

Keith hummed in reply. He didn’t quiet believe that this would be the last he heard of Lotor even though Lance seemed convinced. For right now though, he just wanted to enjoy this moment in Lance’s room. He closed his eyes and leaned into Lance’s touch, enjoying the way his fingers combed through his hair.

 

“Did you break up with him?” he asked a few minutes later. He wanted to know and Lance’s petting was starting to lull him back to sleep.

 

Lance’s hand went still and Keith opened his eyes to look at him. His lips were pressed together tightly and he wasn’t looking at Keith. Slowly, his hand left Keith’s hair and a sad part of him desperately missed it.

 

“I threatened to.”

 

Keith went tensed. Lance, sweet and amazing Lance, was still dating that psycho. “Lance.” His voice was quiet, but sharp and disapproving. Lance ducked his head down and bit the inside of his lip nervously. “Are you still dating this guy to keep me safe? Because if you are - stop it.”

 

“I wouldn’t _do_ that,” Lance protested. His voice was strong but he still wouldn’t look at him.

 

“Yes, you would.”

 

“... Alright, I probably would. But I’m not!” Lance added quickly. He looked at Keith pleadingly, wanting his friend to understand without Lance needing to voice his reasons. A few seconds of looking at Keith’s bruised and swollen face made him look away, guilt burning in his chest. Lance was quiet for a long time before he took a deep breath and let it go. “I love him, Keith.”

 

The pathetic part of Keith, the part that wanted to be held and have his hair stroked, all but wailed in sorrow. He had heard Lance profess his love for Lotor twice before, but it didn’t get easier. If anything, the ache that settled deep in his chest just seemed to get worse and it had nothing to do with his ribs that had been kicked to hell and back. Or maybe he was going numb to it? Tears didn’t burn at his eyes like they had the other times. Or maybe he was just too exhausted to cry over his broken heart.

 

“He’s not a good guy, Lance,” he managed to say.

 

Lance’s voice was barely more then a whisper. “I know.”

 

“Look at what he did to me,” Keith demanded. His voice was stronger then before and seemed like a roar in the quiet room even though he wasn’t shouting. “Look at me.”

 

Dark blue eyes looked up and met his own.

 

“He did this to me. He threatened to get Shiro fired! Whats going to stop him from going after our other friends? Or from your family?”

 

Blue eyes hardened and the sadness left Lance’s face, replaced with a fierce determination. “ _I am_ ,” he stated. His tone all but challenging Keith to argue further on this point. “ _I_ am going to be the thing that stops him from hurting anyone else, Keith. Lotor loves me and he clings to the people who he loves like a lifeline. He wont risk loosing me and Allura, and now he knows that hurting the people I love will cause that.”

 

“And we’re right back to you being a self sacrificing idiot,” he said sadly. The fight drained out of Keith as quickly as it had came, leaving him exhausted and empty. He was hurting and tired and he didn’t want to keep fighting with Lance.

 

Lance seemed to share the thought, because his shoulders sagged and he sighed and rubbed his hands down his face. Lance looked as tired as Keith felt. “Can we talk about my poor life decisions later? I’m tired and I know you are too.”

 

“... Fine,” Keith grumbled, face half in the pillow and eyes heavy.

 

Lance almost groaned in relief.

 

He stood up from the bed and stretched his arms over his head until he felt something in his back pop. Now he’s really glad he didn’t get rid of his couch since it looked like he was going to be sleeping on it for the unforeseen future. At least it was comfy.

 

“Where are you going?” Keith asked from the bed. Lance looked back to see Keith looking at him in sleepy confusion.

 

“To the couch? You can have the bed since you’re hurt, don’t worry about it.”

 

“No, I mean…”

 

Lance rose an eyebrow at him. “Yeah?”

 

“... Your beds big enough for both of us,” Keith finally said. Lance’s eyebrow shot up to join the other.

 

“Huh? But you… I thought you would be uncomfortable?”

 

“I’ll be fine,” Keith said. He rolled his pretty eyes. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed, Lance.”

 

“I… don’t think this is a good idea.”

 

Keith gave him a sleepy glare and it was adorable. “Get in the fucking bed, Lance.”

 

Lance got in the fucking bed. Sure, he hesitated and shuffled awkwardly for a minute before changing into a t-shirt and sweats, but he did eventually get in the bed. He tried to stay as far away from Keith as he could without falling off the edge, but Keith wasn’t having that.

 

He reached out and grabbed Lance’s arm and began tugging him closer. When Lance had scooted close enough, Keith cuddled into his side (completely ignoring Lance’s feeble protest about hurting his ribs) and put his head on Lance’s chest, only hissing in pain once. Lance didn’t dare to breath for fear of spooking Keith away like an anxious cat and ever so slowly began to wrap his arm around Keith’s back. Keith sighed contently and Lance was wondering if he had somehow gone into a parallel universe.

 

“I am… so confused,” Lance whispered.

 

Keith gave an amused huff and Lance felt a smirk tug at the side of Keith’s lips. “Nothing new there,” he mumbled.

 

“I thought you didn’t like to cuddle? Whenever I tried to hug or cuddle you would flinch away.”

 

“Maybe because the hot guy I had a huge crush on was hugging me and I didn’t know how to handle it? After a while you stopped and I didn’t know how to ask you to start doing it again,” Keith explained with a shrug. The movement proved to be uncomfortable and he winced and hissed before settling down once again.

 

“I really wish you would let me take you to the hospital…”

 

“Can’t exactly afford it,” Keith sighed. “Lance, can we please talk about this later? I’m tired and you’re warm.”

 

“Yeah,” he huffed. “Sure, whatever.”

 

“Good,” Keith sighed. He turned his head a bit a placed a soft kiss to Lance’s chest that made his heart squeeze painfully before settling down again and drifting of to sleep.

 

Lance looked up at the ceiling of his room, wishing it held all of life's answers. Like what to do when your first love actually loves you back and got his ass kicked by your protective/possessive boyfriend and is now cuddling with you in your bed. Apparently that was too much to ask from the ceiling, because Lance got no answers that night.

 

-

 

By the next morning Keith’s bruises were darker, looking almost purple. Lance made him stay in bed with an ice pack to bring down the swelling of his face and eye. While Keith said that he could handle some bruises, his ribs still made movement of any kind a painful experience so he didn’t complain too much about being stuck in bed. Lance skipped class and thankfully didn’t have work, so the morning was spent in bed, Keith propped up on basically every pillow Lance owned while they made battle plans and ate junk food for breakfast.

 

“Are we going to tell the others whats going on?” Keith asked.

 

“I… I don’t think so. It’s kind of a lot. I never really got around to telling Shiro and Matt that I’m dating Lotor, kinda forgot to… But we definitely can’t tell them he’s the one who beat you up.”

 

“Why the hell not?”

 

“Because if Shiro knew who got his little brother beaten to a pulp he would book the next flight over here to confront Lotor,” Lance reasoned. Shiro was normally the level headed one of their group, but hell hath no fury like a big brother’s protectiveness. “Lotor’s already shaken by me confronting him, do you think he’ll react well if a pissed off Shiro is after him? Also, I really don’t want to see if Shiro would win in a fight against all the girls. And this whole situation is fucked up and confusing as it it,” he continued. “Do you really want to add Shiro being down here into the mix?”

 

Keith huffed. “No,” he reluctantly agreed. He hated lying to Shiro, but for the time being, it had to be done. “But he’s gonna know something’s up if I don’t return his calls or facetime him. Hunk and Pidge too.”

 

“We can… I don’t know, tell them you got mugged and I’m taking care of you?”

 

“Ok, that could work… And Shiro does know about you and Lotor. I kinda… called him when I was drunk.”

 

Lance grimaced before whining in distress. “Great… Ok. Thats… Thats great,” Lance sighed. “Shiro’s going to want to kill me, but no biggy.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes. “Shiro’s not gonna want to kill you. You’re his friend too.”

 

“You’re his baby brother and weirdly blind to how protective he is of you- your argument is null and void. Now pass the starbursts.”

 

Keith did so with a huff and a feeble protest that he did know about Shiro’s protectiveness, you guys just like to exaggerate. Lance was very well aware that they were avoiding the multiple issues that really needed to be talked about, but if he could put off the awkward conversations for another day, then that was perfectly alright with him.

 

It was also sort of nice to be spending time with Keith again. It felt like they were back in high school, minus the bruises and looming threats, and Lance has missed this. He missed having someone to bullshit with and make playful jabs at. It was sad, but he wanted to enjoy this for a little while longer before bringing up all the shit they’ve gone through and figuring out just how their entire relationship went so sour.

 

-

 

Lance goes to pick up the chines food they ordered for lunch and almost trips over the rather huge bouquet of flowers in front of his door. It’s an absolutely beautiful bunch of hyacinth, tulips, lilies, and white roses and Lance doesn’t need to read the little card to know who they are from.

 

The throws both the flowers and the crystalline vase into one of the trash cans outside his apartment.

 

-

 

“Lance, I’m fine.”

 

“Tell me that when I need to drive you to the hospital because of an infection.” In his hands he held all of the disinfectant he owned along with handfuls of cotton swabs and fresh band-aids. He would be happy to put them down and get to work if only his patient wasn’t being a whinny little bitch.

 

“You already cleaned all the cuts! I’m not going to get an infection,” he argued back.

 

“Umm, I’m sorry,” Lance sassed with an utterly unimpressed face. “Were you or were you not thrown around a gross alley with open wounds yesterday? I’m cleaning those cuts again. You wont let me take you to the hospital like a sane person, so this is what you gotta deal with.”

 

It was really rather impressive how much attitude Keith could put in an eye roll, especially when he was still bundled up on Lance’s bed, sore and aching but apparently ready to argue. “I thought cuts were supposed to stay dry or something?”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“Yeah you do.”

 

And god damn it, he did. So Lance turned to Google who failed him for once. The Google searches gave conflicting information on how to properly take care of the cuts and bruised ribs and it was a betrayal like none Lance had ever faced before (and his boyfriend had just beaten the shit out of his friend yesterday so he knew what he was talking about).

 

Then one of the bright orange advertisements made Lance remember that he was friends with someone who was a verified paramedic and was always willing to help someone in need and he almost smacked himself. “I’m an idiot,” he mumbled to himself.

 

“No arguments here.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Now what are you doing?”

 

“Calling a friend,” Lance explained. One more ring, and the phone was answered.

 

“Lance!” Coran greeted chipperly. “Hello there my boy!”

 

Lance smiled into the phone. Allura’s uncle figure was as eccentric as he was helpful and he had taken a liking to Lance since the moment Allura introduced them. “Hey Coran,” Lance greeted in return. “I was wondering if you could help me out real quick.”

 

“Of course, of course, whatever do you need?”

 

“Well,” Lance started. “I was wondering if you could settle an argument about treating cuts? And if you knew about any treatments for bruises? Like, to take down the swelling or the coloring or something? Oh, uhh, and ribs… that could possibly be fractured?”

 

Coran was quiet for a few seconds, processing and growing _very concerned_. “I know of a few tricks,” Coran said slowly. “But, ehh, what exactly are they needed for? Did you get into a scuffle, my boy?”

 

“Oh! No, no,” Lance corrected quickly. “It’s not for me, I promise. A friend of mine got his ass kicked during a mugging and he’s staying with me for a bit, but I’m not sure how to take care of all his injuries and he’s being a difficult patient.” Lance walked out of the room, dimly hearing Keith protested ‘hey!’ after he closed the door.

 

Coran made a humming noise, like he was debating on if he believed Lance or not. “Righty-oh then,” he said. “I have some Altean creams and ointments that will have your _friends_ skin cleared up in no time. I’ll bring it by your apartment in a jiffy! When I’m there I’ll take a look at his other injuries for you.”

 

“What? No! No, Coran, you don’t need to stop by! If you can just give them to Allura--” It was probably for the best if Allura didn’t know about Lance basically nursing Keith back to health while simultaneous ignoring Lotor. “-- Actually, never mind that plan, its a dumb plan! I can just drive over and pick up the medicine myself. No need to have the princess play delivery girl… or know about this conversation at all?”

 

“Nonsense,” Coran said happily. “I’ve got some errands to run anyhow so I’ll just swing through.”

 

“Right,” Lance sighed. “Ok, thank you, Coran. When will you be here?”

 

“Some time within the hour. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to barter with a crook for some decorative plates.”

 

“You have fun with that,” Lance chuckled. “See you soon, Coran.” Once he ended the call, Lance let out a sigh. He knew Coran would eventually talk to Allura about Keith and he had been hoping to avoid having her find out. It couldn’t be helped though and Keith needed more then what Lance could offer. Maybe he can talk to Coran about keeping quiet?

 

He walked back into his bedroom (the nice part about Keith being too sore to move was that he couldn’t follow Lance out of the room to keep protesting that he didn’t need the help and felt fine). “A friend of mine is gonna come over and take a look at you to make sure you aren’t, like, bleeding internally or something,” Lance explained. He pointed at Keith angrily. “And I swear to God, if he says somethings wrong I’m dragging you to a hospital kicking and screaming.”

 

There was that eye roll again. “Who even is this guy? I don’t think I would believe the word of some first year medical student who thinks he’s smarter then everyone.”

 

“Nah, Coran’s kinda a paramedic. He’ll know what he’s doing.”

 

“What do you mean by ‘kinda’?”

 

“Well, Coran’s like… everything I guess? He works for Allura’s dad as some kind of adviser, but he use to be a paramedic and a mechanical engineer before that. But he also lives with them so I think he might be a sugar baby for Alfor or something? I don’t know…”

 

“... You have some really weird friends here in New York.’

 

-

 

“Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, at your service,” Coran greeted brightly. He did a very proper, shallow bow to Keith, who was staring at him wide eyed from where he was sitting in bed. “Now, lets take a look at those ribs, shall we?”

 

“Uhh…” Keith replied.

 

Lance gave him a helpless smile and shrugged. “Coran, this is my friend from high school, Keith. He moved to New York a few months ago, did Allura tell you?”

 

“Ah, yes,” Coran mussed while setting his first aid kit on Lance’s night stand, carefully moving the objects already on it aside so nothing fell. “I do recall her mentioning it. Is he the one you’ve proposed marriage to?”

 

Lance flushed and winced for a short second before rubbing the back of his head with an embarrassed smile. “Ehh, no… that was Hunk.”

 

“You proposed to Hunk?” Keith asked. “When did that happen?”

 

“Over the course of our friendship, I’ve asked Hunk to marry me like… more then ten times, but less then thirty. I’ve flat out begged him like four times too. You can’t even blame me either- everyone wants to marry Hunk.”

 

Keith pulled an unimpressed face and rolled his eyes.

 

“Now, Keith,” Coran began. “Lance said you were the victim of a mugging last night. Can you please tell me where and how you were injured?”

 

And thus began a short and hastily edited retelling of the attack. Lance and Keith had gone over the story that morning, keeping the details simple and close enough to the truth so no one would think they were lying. It hadn’t been fun to listen to the first time and Lance’s stomach felt like it had been replaced by a pit of painful guilt for the entire duration.

 

“So the ruffians used the cover of night to sneak up on you, launch a surprise attach, steal what money you had, and then fled. What an unpleasant experience!”

 

“Yeah,” Keith said slowly, unsure of how to respond.

 

“Now, please do tell me, do you remember hitting your head? Do you recall blacking out at any point?”

 

Coran ended up staying for more then an hour. He asked all the questions he needed, checked over all of Keith’s cuts before applying an ointment that Lance had never seen before and bandaging them again, and took extra care in looking at his bruise riddled ribs. He concluded that Keith’s ribs weren’t broken, but he would need x-rays to know for sure if they were factored.

 

He told them the best that could be done for Keith’s ribs were rest and avoidance of too much movement for a few weeks while they healed and to avoid binding or constricting them in any way. He gave Lance a few jars of Altean ointments that he told Lance to apply generously and should speed up the healing of Keith’s bruises along with the soreness and swelling.

 

Once that was over and done with, Coran packed up his kit, wished Keith a good day and speedy recovery, and was ready to go.

 

“Let me walk you out,” Lance offered.

 

“My thanks, dear boy!”

 

It wouldn’t take long to walk Coran out of the apartment building, but Lance was itching to talk to him alone.

 

“Quite a tough biscuit your friend is,” Coran commented.

 

“Cookie, Coran. A tough cookie.”

 

“Ah, yes, thats right,” Coran laughed.

 

“Umm, Coran, can I ask for one more favor? Could you… maybe not tell Allura that you helped me today? I don’t think she would be very happy to know Keith’s staying with me for the time being.”

 

“Ohh? Why ever not?”

 

“Well,” Lance started, then stopped. He looked down at his shoes, not able to meet Coran’s eyes. “Keith and I use to… be in a relationship--” And, God, was it weird to address what he and Keith use to have as a _relationship_  after denying it was one for so long, but he didn’t have the time or energy to explain everything to Coran. “--and I’m worried she’ll be mad about it since I’m dating Lotor now.”

 

Coran gave an understanding hum, nodding slowly. “Yes, Allura is a very protective friend. I’m sure she would give quiet the lecture. Not to fear, I’ll be sure to let the event slip from my mind.”

 

Lance relaxed. “Thank you, Coran. And thank you for helping me with Keith. He can be so dang stubborn about stupid things.”

 

“Think nothing of it, Lance, I’m happy to be of assistance. Now, I’ll be off. I’ve got a hunch about the decorative plates I found containing scaultrite and I simply must confirm it!”

****

****-** **

 

“Why didn’t you ever say anything when we started sleeping together?” Lance asked quietly that night. They were both sleeping in Lance’s bed again since Keith had pulled him back in when Lance started to make his way to the couch. Lance was very well aware that he could have just pulled away since Keith wasn’t exactly in top condition but that would’ve been the smart thing to do and Lance was an idiot who liked to make his own life harder… and it was really, really nice to have Keith in his arms while he slept and Lance was a weak man.

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

“Why do you have to answer a question with a question?”

 

“To be difficult.”

 

“You little shit…” Lance sighed. He was quiet for a moment, fingers still lazily combing through Keith’s incredibly soft hair. He knew better then to try to force Keith to talk when he didn’t want to, so he would have to tell his side of this story before he could even hope to hear Keith’s. “You don’t do relationships, never have. I thought sex was the most I could ever have with you and I didn’t want to fuck it all up by saying anything.”

****

Somehow it was easier to talk about this in the dark of his room, warm under the blankets and curled up together.

****

“... I didn’t think you wanted more,” Keith said after a quiet minute. “You’ve never been shy about wanting people. You always just… went for it when you got a new crush. You were never like that with me and then we were sleeping together and I… I just wanted it to last as long as it could and I thought saying something would mess everything up.”

 

Lance huffed out a short, bitter laugh. “I thought I was obvious. Everyone told me it was obvious.”

 

“It wasn’t,” Keith protested. “You treated me the same way as Hunk and Pidge. I didn’t… Wait. How long have you…?” Keith trailed off, his question hanging in the air.

 

“Umm… Sometime during high school?” Lance said, suddenly embarrassed to confessing just how long he has held onto his (apparently not so) hopeless love for Keith. “I’m not sure of the exact date or whatever but, uhh, yeah. High school. Some time after freshman year…”

 

Keith looked at him with wide eyes, body going very still. “Are you kidding me…” he mumbled under his breath.

 

“Uhh… Keith? You ok?”

 

“No,” he groaned. “You’re telling me that all this fucking time we could’ve… Ugh, all those fucking years.”

 

“Keith? Come one man, talk to me.”

 

Keith took a big breath, then released it slowly. He covered his eyes with one of his hands and spoke like it physically hurt. “I’ve had a crush on you since freshman year. I just- I didn’t think you… that you would ever…”

 

Lance felt like his stomach had dropped to his feet. Years of pinning after this boy would have been avoided. Years of self doubt and the hell that the last few months of his life has been could have all been avoided. “How the heck did we both manage to not notice that?!” Lance exclaimed incredulously.

 

“Hell if I know,” Keith groaned.

 

“We are idiots…”

 

“Yeah,” Keith moaned pitifully.

 

“Our friends are never going to let us live this shit down.”

 

Keith’s only response was a groan.

 

-

 

He checks the mail before he leaves for class and finds a shiny new Iphone inside along with a red rose. He hesitates about throwing this gift in the trash because it is a _really_ nice gift that costs more then Lance’s entire paycheck.

 

So he sells the phone to a classmate for two hundred dollars and throws away the flower.

 

-

 

Lance comes home to Keith cooking dinner in his boxers, one of Lance’s shirts, and Lance’s favorite jacket. The image was so utterly domestic that Lance was stunned for a second.

 

“Thats my jacket.”

 

Keith startled and turned to look at Lance. “Jesus,” he hissed. “You scared me.”

 

“You’re wearing my jacket.”

 

The other boy flushed and turned back to the boiling pot on the stove. “... It got cold in here. Your heating is shit. You should complain to your landlord,” Keith said. Lance blinked at his friend’s back. His jacket clad back. Lance’s favorite jacket that he has had for years and refused to ever get rid of.

 

Wow.

 

He stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him. “Are you sure you should be walking around?” Lance asked. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to come home to dinner being done, but don’t your ribs hurt?”

 

“No, I’m good. Look, I’m breathing and everything.”

 

Lance humphed, eyeing Keith suspiciously. He didn’t seem to be in pain, but Keith was always the kind to just clench his teeth and quietly bare it instead of resting. It was a horrible habit and the first sign of pain Lance sees is going to send Keith back to bed or the couch. “What’cha making?”

 

“Just spaghetti. Get some plates, I just need to drain the noodles and its done.”

 

Lance did as asked, grabbing plates and silverware and sodas while Keith strained the noodles and got the garlic knots out of the oven (store bought and frozen and in no way as good as the ones his grandma makes).

 

You couldn’t really go wrong with spaghetti, and something hot and homemade in his stomach after a day of tiring classes and demanding customers was nothing short of a God send for Lance. Talk was minimal between them while they ate, mostly about Lance’s day and how bored Keith had been watching tv.

 

“Did you call into work today?” Lance asked after dinner was done and they were doing dishes together, Keith washing while Lance dried and put away.

 

“... No,” Keith said after a long pause.

 

Lance turned away from the sauce pan he was drying and looked at Keith in alarm. “What? Why not?”

 

“Well for one, I don’t have a phone to call them with. My phone fell out of my pocket during the fight. And,” Keith hesitated here. Lance could see him rubbing his fingers together under the water, a nervous habit he’s always had. “…because I’m pretty sure they’re gonna fire me when I do.”

 

“What? Why would they fire you for calling into work?”

 

“I was supposed to go to work the day Lotor and those girls kicked my ass and calling in wasn’t exactly a priority of mine at the time. My boss is a real hard ass about attendance and he kept saying that he would fire anyone who did a no call no show…”

 

Lance sputtered a noise of outrage. “What? But that’s baloney!”

 

Keith shrugged, still avoiding Lance’s eyes and resumed scrubbing one of the dishes. “I hated my job anyway. I’ll find a new one- Fast.”

 

Lance huffed, but didn’t say anything else about the topic. Job searches were by no means a fun experience, especially when you are living paycheck to paycheck.

 

After another minute of quiet work, Lance peeked at Keith from the corner of his eyes. “So,” he dragged the word out. “I’ve been meaning to ask you-”

 

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me, you’re asking a lot of questions tonight.”

 

Lance cooed. “Aww, you tried to be funny, Keith, I’m so proud. I knew you weren’t a lost cause!”

 

Keith tried to elbow him, but Lance danced away with a grin. Keith still got his vengeance once Lance came back to dry more dishes and Keith was able to flick water at him. “You’re question?”

 

“Well,” Lance hesitantly began. “Before, when you first arrived I mean, you said that… I was the only one you had been sleeping with. Did you mean that?”

 

Keith turned to look at Lance sharply, mouth parted and brows furrowed. “Lance…” he murmured softly. “Why did- no, what made you ever think I was seeing other people? I told you, you’re all I want.”

 

Lance flushed and looked away. “You remember that night club you took me to that one time?” At Keith’s nod, Lance continued. “I went up to the bar for something, can’t remember what- but the bartender. She said she knew you because you were there a lot and was surprised because I wasn’t your regular type. She said you never left alone and had a different guy every night and… Keith?”

 

“The bartender,” Keith growled through his teeth. “Do you remember what her name was? What she looked like?”

 

“Uh, she had a weird name, Nina? No, thats not it. She was pretty? Blond?”

 

“Nyma,” Keith all but spat the word.

 

“Yeah, thats it!”

 

Keith took a big breath, seemingly attempting to calm himself.

 

“ _Bitch_!”

 

Nope, never mind. Calming down wasn’t on the agenda today.

 

“That bitch!” Keith shouted. He turned away from the sink and began pacing through the kitchen. “What the fuck! Seriously, what the fuck!? She and Rolo fucking knew about you and she still- wait.”

 

“...Keith?” Lance asked, concerned and watching from the kitchen sink.

 

“I’m gonna kick their asses,” Keith firmly stated. “Those sons of bitches, I’m gonna kick their asses!”

 

“Wow, wow, slow down, hot head,” Lance counseled, approaching Keith slowly and trying to calm his friend down before he actually left to go start a fight with a bartender or two. “Talk to me, tell me whats wrong?”

 

“Nyma and Rolo!” Keith snapped. “They both work at that club. I… I would talk to them sometimes- about you. They knew that I- how I felt about you and she told you that I was- _UGH_!”

 

“Ok, ok,” Lance cooed soft and slow. He reached out at put a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Listen, you’re still hurt so you can’t go a start a bar fight yet, ok?”

 

“I know!” Keith snapped. He grimaced and looked away from Lance, taking calming breaths. When he next spoke the anger was still there, but it was subdued. “I know, sorry. I’m sorry, I just… I thought they were- not exactly friends but…”

 

“Yeah,” Lance finished. “I get it. So she lied to me about you sleeping around. Any idea why she would do that?”

 

“No,” Keith admitted, sounding defeated and tired now that the fight was leaving him. “She liked drama but didn’t really like causing drama, you know? And Rolo was… Oh. Oh, man.”

 

“What?”

 

“Rolo had a crush on me. Nyma was always trying to set us up. She must have thought it would be easier without you in the picture.”

 

Lance took a minute to process everything before nodding. “Ok. Alright, well that solves that. Now we know, right?”

 

“I’m still gonna kick their asses.”

 

“I’ll be your alibi or your get away driver, but not both.”

 

“Deal.”

 

Lance smiled at him. “How do your ribs feel after all that yelling?”

 

Keith gave him a dark glower to hide any discomfort or embarrassment. “I’m _fine_ ,” he insisted.

 

Lance nodded his head, as if he believed the other man for a second. “Do you want ice?”

 

“Yes.”

****

****-** **

 

“Keith, you awake?” Lance asked almost a half hour after they had gone to bed. Lance was very well aware that he could easily kick Keith out of his bed and onto the couch or even tell him to go home now that he was more healed up. But that would be a smart thing to do, and isn't already been established that Lance seemed to like making his life difficult. Also, it was… _really_ nice to cuddle with Keith. ~~~~

Keith hummed. “Yeah?”

 

“What made you… Why did you stop talking to everyone when you dropped out of college? Was it something we did?” He was a little embarrassed to be asking about it after so long, but it was something he had always wondered about and they __were__ trying to clear the air so…

 

“I’ll admit, that wasn’t my finest moment,” Keith grumbled. “I, apparently, am not cut out for college. I could handle the classes, but I was pretty fucking miserable… I guess I didn’t like being away from everyone? It was weird. I spent most of my life alone so I thought I would be fine, but I really wasn’t. I was closer to Shiro, but he was always busy with work and I felt like I was getting in the way all the time. I was lonely without you guys.”

 

“Yeah,” Lance agreed softly. “I get that. I was too. But why did you stop answering our texts and calls? If you missed us then why cut us out of your life?”

 

Keith was quiet for a minute. “I… I had already stopped going to all my classes when I started cutting everyone out. It seemed like every time we talked it was about how amazing life was and how well you guys were doing in college. I felt like a huge failure compared to you guys so I just stopped answering your calls. After that I was kinda… lost.”

 

“You aren’t allowed to do that again,” Lance stated. He held onto Keith tighter. “I’m serious. We didn’t know what happened, what we did wrong, or even where you were. Shiro said you dropped out and left to go find yourself or something. I’m not sure about the others, but I kept trying to reach out to you. But after a while I started thinking that you were trying to tell me you just didn’t want me in your life…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Keith whispered. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that. Of course I want you in my life. I love you.”

 

Lance took a shuttering breath and buried his face in Keith’s hair, trying to get his heart under control. “If you ever feel like that again, you talk to me, got it? I’m getting sick of feeling like I’ve lost you forever.”

 

Keith nodded and held Lance just as tightly.

 

-

 

“Can I ask you something?” Keith said the next morning. Lance was mixing pancake batter while Keith sipped at his coffee. Lance hummed an affirmative to his question, focus on the pancakes. “Was I not enough?”

 

“Huh?” Lance asked, looking up at him. “What do you mean by enough?”

 

“When we were sleeping together, you started dating Lotor before you stopped seeing me.”

 

“Oh, that… I know it was an asshole thing to do, believe me I do. At the time I thought you were doing the same thing, seeing other people without telling me. I guess I thought that what I did was less wrong because it was being done to me? Stupid, I know.”

 

Lance began pouring the pancakes onto the heated frying pan while he kept talking. “I didn’t say anything to you partially because well, you hadn’t said anything to me. I know now that you weren’t but… yeah. And because I was worried that you would want to stop if you found out I was dating someone and I didn’t want that. It was a miracle that you even wanted to sleep with me at all, I wasn’t sure if you would want to start again if we stopped and me and Lotor hadn’t worked out so…”

 

“Believe me, it is in no way a miracle,” Keith scoffed. “So, you didn’t start seeing Lotor because you weren’t happy with me?”

 

Lance winced and thinned his lips. “I… wouldn’t say I was _happy_ with our arrangement. The sex was good, it was great, but I wanted more. I wanted the cuddles and dates and an actual relationship. I could have that with Lotor, but not with you.”

 

“You could have,” Keith stated. “I would have given you everything if I just knew you wanted it.”

 

Lance turned and smiled at Keith over his shoulder. “I know.”

 

“So,” Keith said into his coffee. “I really wasn’t enough.”

 

“Dude,” Lance groaned. “You were, I promise, you were. We had major miscommunication issues though and neither of us where honest about what we actually wanted. Why do you keep asking if you were good enough?”

 

Keith looked away. “I’m just- trying to figure out why you’re choosing Lotor.” And if that wasn’t a knife to the heart, Lance didn’t know what was. “But I get it, I do.”

 

Lance left the stove and moved to stand next to Keith, taking one of his hands to hold. “Well explain it to me, because I don’t get what you get.”

 

Keith attempted a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. He looked away from Lance, instead looking at the hand Lance was holding. “He can give you so much more then I could ever dream of. I’m difficult and have a temper and a college debt. I understand why you would pick him instead of me, but I just… It’s fine though, I got use to the fact that no one wants me unless they need me a long time ago.”

 

Lance’s hands were shaking and it felt like his throat had closed up with how big the lump in it was. He was suddenly desperate to hold Keith and never let him go, to love him with everything Lance had to give and then some, that way Keith deserved. He wanted to kiss Keith and reassure him that Lance loved him so much it felt like it consumed him sometime.

 

But he couldn’t do that to Lotor. Lance was nothing if not loyal to his core and no one deserved that kind of betrayal from their lover.

 

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Lance said fiercely. He cupped Keith’s face with his shaky hands. “Its nothing short of a blessing to have you in my life Keith. You are brave and passionate and you protect the things you love with such unwavering dedication. I love that about you. I love everything about you. That includes your temper and your bad hair cut and your serious lack of impulse control.”

 

“Lance,” Keith sighed. Lance pressed a kiss to Keith’s forehead, letting his lips linger for a few long seconds.

 

“I’m sorry I can’t give you what you deserve Keith, I’m so sorry. But please don’t think of yourself like that.”

 

Keith nodded a little bit, leaning into Lance’s hands and closing his eyes. Lance pressed another kiss to the crown of Keith’s head before wrapping his arms around the other boys shoulders in a hug.

 

Keith savored the warmth for a little while more, before the smell of burning pancakes made him pull out of the embrace. “Breakfast is burning.”

 

“Shit!”

 

The pancakes were a little blackened on one side, but still edible and rather good with enough syrup and butter.

 

-

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me here for this?” Lance couldn’t help asking for the third time. His laptop was set up on the coffee table and the text messages asking for a skype session had already been sent and replied to and he was going to be late for work if he didn’t leave in the next five minutes, but whatever.

 

“Lance,” Keith started, sounding annoyed. “I can handle lying about a mugging. Just go to work, I can handle this.”

 

“Fine, I’ll go, but text me with how it goes. I would like a warning in case Shiro comes to New York to kidnap you or something.”

 

Keith gave a short chuckle. Out of their friends, Shiro would hands down be the worse. Keith knew his brother was nervous about the move and his location of apartments had done nothing to ease his mind. Keith was half expecting Shiro to spend most of their talk trying to convince him to move home and threatening to tell mom and dad next time they made one of their rare phone calls from fuck knows where in the world they were that month.

 

“You’re sure you can-”

 

“You’re gonna be late for work!”

 

“Alright!”

 

In all honesty, Keith would rather just avoid all of this, but he had been at Lance’s place for three days. He still hadn’t gone back to that ally to try to find where his phone had fallen during the fight, so that meant three days with no replying to Shiro’s calls or texts. Shiro had sent a message to Lance that morning asking if he had seen Keith, so they had both taken it as a sign to get the talk out of the way.

 

The cream they had gotten from Coran was nothing short of a miracle. The swelling of Keith’s face was almost completely gone now and the color of the bruises had became a yellow instead of the purple red they had been before. So he didn’t look _that_ bad. Maybe Shiro wouldn’t over react…

 

And maybe Lance will throw out all his skin care products.

 

With nothing else to do but face the music, Keith braced himself and accepted the video call request.

 

‘Hell’ was perhaps too kind of a word to use for the ten minutes following his mistake of a decision. No one was happy and everyone had questions that they demanded answers to and Keith kinda wanted to run after Lance and say that he changed his mind. Lance was always able to talk to people better then Keith. Why did he think he could handle this alone?

 

Keith had been in situations where an entire room of people were all yelling over each other and they were in no way pleasant memories. It was in no way a good time when multiple people are yelling at you all at once, but at least this way he could just turn the volume down on Lance’s laptop so it wasn’t too overwhelming.

 

“I need you guys to stop shouting and calm down for a minute, you’re asking too many questions, slow down,” Keith tried to reason with them. It didn’t help.

 

Hunk was making that scared/sad look that never failed to make Keith feel like scum and asking over and over again if he was ok, Keith, Buddy, please tell me you’re ok?! Pidge was trying to get closer to the screen to get a closer look at him and asking rapid fire questions about when this happened and who did it and why he was using Lance’s laptop. Even Matt was there, leaning over Shiro’s shoulder looking concerned and half hidden behind Keith’s brother.

 

Shiro, who had remained quiet aside from when he had gasped Keith’s name when he first saw him. The older man had drawn to his full high, body tense and looking ready to drag a kicking and screaming Keith onto a one-way plane back home.

 

“What Happened,” Shiro demanded in a voice that was almost a growl. At his no nonsense tone, the other three shut up because an angry Shiro is a scary Shiro and no one was going to argue with him when he was like that.

 

Huh. Maybe Lance was right about Shiro being over protective…

 

“I got mugged on my way to work. I’m ok, just some bruises. I went to Lance after and he’s been letting me stay with him.”

 

“Who did it?” Pidge questioned. “How many, I mean?”

 

“Four,” Keith answered. He and Lance had agreed to keep the lies close to the truth to avoid mixing them up down the road and getting caught. Lance was surprisingly good at lying. “They took all the cash out of my wallet and my phone, that’s why I’ve not been calling you.”

 

“Did you report it to the police?” Matt pipped up behind Shiro.

 

Keith scoffed. “Yeah, Lance made me. I think its stupid though, I’m in New York- muggings happen everyday!” That was a completely fabricated lie that his friends didn’t need to know about. Lance had never had much trust in the police force and they couldn’t exactly press charges against Lotor, who had the money and connections to make an report of assault disappear.

 

“Have you gone to the hospital? What, you said it was just bruises. Do you go to the hospital for bruises?”

 

“No, Hunk,” Keith said with a small smile. “Lance has a friend who use to be a paramedic or something and he checked me over. He gave me some creams to help with the bruising, I’m fine, I promise.”

 

“You’re coming home.”

 

“Shiro,” Keith sighed.

 

“This isn’t up for discussion,” Shiro argued. “You just got attacked, you’re coming back home.”

 

“Or I can be an independent adult and make my own decisions. These things happen, Shiro.”

 

“Not at home!”

 

“Hey Keith,” Pidge spoke up suddenly. “You said you’ve been staying with Lance since the attack, right?” Keith nodded. Pidge’s lips pursed like she was trying not to smirk. “So why don’t I see any sheets or blankets on his couch?”

 

Shit.

 

“What!?”

 

“Oh my God, she’s right!’

 

“Daaang, Keith, you work fast!”

 

“No!” Keith was quick to protest. “It- It’s not what you think!”

 

“Oh?” Pidge asked, looking far too smug. “So that is it like Keith? Last time I checked, Lance only had one bed in his apartment.”

 

“Its… I…” Keith stuttered, feeling his face grow hotter and redder. If someone could just shoot him and bury him in a shallow grave, that would be great. “I was hurt! And Lance let me have the bed, but I didn’t want to kick him out of his own bed so we just… shared?”

 

“I’ve read fanfics with that trope!” Matt said happily, the same teasing smirk as his sister on his lips. “Spoiler alert: they fucked.”

 

“You guys!” Keith cried in dismay, hiding his face behind his hands. If the gun shot and shallow grave wont work, maybe he can just combust?

 

“Well, last time I checked,” Hunk said with a the disapproval of a mother who just found the living room walls scribbled on. “Lance had a boyfriend who he was head over heals for.”

 

Aaaaand theres that hallow feeling in the center of his chest, Keith had been wondering where that went. Pidge and Matt winced at the same time at the mention of Lotor, all teasing done with.

 

“Keith?” Shiro asked in that soft tone he always used when Keith was upset.

 

“Yeah, he has a fucking boyfriend,” Keith said with no heat. “They got into a fight about Lance moving in and Lance needs space. Me getting jumped was just… bad timing I guess. They aren’t breaking up. Apparently, Lance loves him.”

 

Everyone was quiet for a minute, everyone giving him sympathetic looks. “Come home,” Shiro said, still using that soft tone. “Come back and be around people who love you and want you to be happy.”

 

Keith swallowed the lump in his throat. “He does though. Love me.” He heard a few sharp intakes of breath. “I… I told Lance that I love him, after the attack. I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. He says he loves me too, but he… He loves Lotor more I guess.”

 

“Oh Keith,” Hunk cooed, sounding choked up himself.

 

“It’s ok,” Keith insisted. “I’m… handling it. Probably not __well__ , but I’m doing ok. Lance and I are spending time together again, thats all I can ask for.”

 

-

 

Lance gets a text from Ezor while he and Keith are watching tv on the couch together. There are Chinese take out boxes on his coffee table and empty cans of soda by their feet and Keith is leaning heavily into Lance’s side, half asleep. Lance hesitated to say that they were cuddling, but there really was no other way to describe it. Keith was full blown cuddling with Lance on his couch and Lance was _living life to the fullest_.

 

Then his phone chimed and a text message reminded him that he had an amazing boyfriend who he was still very mad at.

 

_‘We’re sorry. Pls talk to Lotor again’_

__

Lance wondered if Ezor was reaching out to him on her own or if Lotor had asked her to.

__

_‘You guys were following Lotors orders Im not AS mad at you as I am at him’_

_‘If it helps, Z was pulling her punches… We all were.’_

Lance looks over at Keith. His eyes were heavy and he was wrapped up in one of Lance’s baggy hoodies. His bruises were clearing up nicely, now a yellow-ish green, and the swelling was almost completely gone. Coran’s ointment really was a god send.

 

But Keith still hisses when he moves a certain way the reminds him of his bruised ribs and Lance now has stains on his carpet and couch from the blood.

 

__‘_ Doesn’t look like it’ _

_‘We’re sorry. Lotor is too.’_

 

Lance knew that Lotor didn’t regret having Keith beaten. He’s upset with how Lance reacted to finding out. He’s sorry because Lance is upset, but he doesn’t regret hurting Keith at all.

 

“Who you texting?” Keith asked. His eyes were heavy and sleepy.

 

“Ezor,” Lance answered easily. “She says the girls were going easy on you or something.”

 

“Didn’t fucking feel like it,” Keith huffed, irritated. He shifted around until he was more comfortably curled up against Lance’s side, his head now leaning against the other young mans shoulder. He gave a sigh that was nothing but content with life and Lance felt his chest go tight with equal parts guilt and longing.

 

Guilt, because he was in a relationship with Lotor but it was Keith he was cuddling on the couch with. Lotor, the man who treated Lance like he was a precious treasure - one he would guard viciously. He loved Lance and Lance loved him and Lance was nothing if not loyal. A cheater was something Lance never wanted to be. A little voice whispered that he has always been affectionate with his friends, he’s doing nothing wrong, this was in no way a betrayal to Lotor.

 

The longing was something Lance was familiar with. He has longed and pinned for Keith for years, so it should in no way feel new to him but it did. Maybe it was the added guilt or maybe it was because he now knew he could have this. Keith loves him back. The only thing stopping him from beginning a relationship with Keith was that he didn’t want to end the one he already had with Lotor.

 

“Why did you never want to cuddle like this when we were sleeping together?” The question had slipped past his lips before Lance even knew he wanted to ask it.

 

“Hmm?” Keith hummed. He lifted his head to blink sleepily at Lance. “What?”

 

“Uh… When we were, you know, having sex. You never liked to cuddle after or spend the night, but you’re like super cuddly now. What changed?”

 

Keith was quiet for a minute, probably slowly processing Lance’s mess of a question with his half asleep brain. “Oh,” he said at last. He looked away for a second before leaning back onto Lance. “I… guess I wanted to avoid it. I didn’t want to fool myself again.”

 

“Again?” Lance asked. “What do you mean again?”

 

Keith was quiet for a long minute, hiding his face from Lance before speaking again. “I… may have fooled myself into thinking you were into me once or twice in high school. You would start crushing on someone else before I could work up the nerve to do anything about it. It sucked and I… and I thought… I knew it was just sex and I know you’ve always been cuddly with everyone else, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up again so I just… avoided it.”

 

“Aw, Keith,” Lance cooed sympathetically. He hugged Keith closer to his side. “I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know, but man, we could have avoided __years__ of pinning if you had said something.”

 

“I know that _now _.”__

 

“Wait, wait,” Lance started again. “So what happened those times you did spend the night? Like when I made breakfast and you ran out?”

 

Keith sighed. “I was hoping you had forgotten about that.”

 

“Not a chance. Spill.”

****

“I had a bad day- work was hell, I got a letter about my student debt, I got into a fight with Shiro about me wasting my potential… It was just a really shitty day. I just meant to stay a little bit longer then go home, but I fell asleep. I woke up and you were making breakfast and smiling and you kissed me and- and everything was so perfectly domestic,” Keith sighed. “-and I _wanted that_. It was like waking up to a dream and I _couldn’t have that_. I wanted to stay and pretend that it was real but… I knew it wasn’t and it would hurt more if I let myself pretend it was, so I left.’

 

Lance didn’t say anything. What could you say to that? That he wanted that too and wish that he had stayed? They could say that about everything they had done for the past few months- hell, they could say that about everything since high school! It would just feel like hallow words after a while. I wish you had said something, I wish you had kissed me, I wish you had stayed.

 

Lance didn’t say anything, just held Keith close against him and placed a dozen little kisses across his forehead and played with his sleep until the other boy began to dose off again.

 

Later that night, when he was almost asleep in bed and Keith was already sleeping soundly beside him, he remembered to send a reply to Ezor.

_‘Tell Lotor to stop sending gifts. I’m mad at him and I’m not talking until I’m ready’_

 

-

 

Allura throws her bag down on the table forcefully enough to make Lance jump. He looked up at her slowly and found his friend glaring at him.

 

“Allura?”

 

“I had lunch with Lotor today,” she said shortly through her teeth. Lance felt his shoulders tense.

 

Oh no…

 

“He told me that you two had a fight and that Keith was living with you now.”

 

_Oh no._

 

“Keith, your first love who you use to casually sleep with, is living with you in your one bedroom apartment.”

 

Lance winced. “Ok, when you say it like that it sounds bad…”

 

“Yes, it does!” Allura agreed. “I thought you and Lotor were happy. You’re planning to move in together! Why would you- Just… What are you doing, Lance?!”

 

“I can explain,” Lance started. Allura sat down across from him and crossed her arms.

 

The thing is, Lance wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to spill his guts and tell Allura the whole fucked up situation he was in but he couldn’t. If he told Allura then she would end her friendship with Lotor. He needed her to stay in the dark about Lotor’s involvement in Keith’s beating or his threats to keep Lotor in line would take a major blow.

 

Now how can he word this correctly so Allura wouldn’t go off on him in all her protective fury…

 

“I’m waiting,” Allura warned evenly.

 

“Keith got jumped,” Lance quickly explained. “He was on his way to work and he got jumped by a couple punks. He fought back, but it wasn’t exactly a fair fight so he lost. Badly… He came to me afterwards because he was hurt and scared and needed help and I’m basically the only friend he has in this city. I couldn’t just slam the door in his face, Allura.”

 

If Allura was in any way moved by Keith’s pitiful experience, it didn’t show. The little scoff she gave when Lance was finished made it certain. She still stood firmly on Lotor’s side in this. “So helping an old friend is a good reason to cancel your plans to move and begin ignoring your loving boyfriend, huh?”

 

Lance winced. “It’s… complicated right now, but Lotor has nothing to worry about.”

 

“You have your ex-boyfriend sleeping on your couch while you’re ignoring your current boyfriend, I think Lotor has plenty of reason to be worried and upset with you!”

 

“Lotor’s making this sound so much worse then it is! He just doesn’t get it-”

 

“I hardly understand it!” Allura interrupted hotly. People in the cafe were subtly staring at them, but a glare from Allura made even the nervous looking staff avert their eyes. “It’s like you’re trying to get Lotor to break up with you, Lance!”

 

Ok… clearly a new tactic is called for before they just start screaming over each other in a public place…

 

“... You were right,” Lance admitted sadly. Allura rose an eyebrow at him, thrown off by the sudden change in topic. He lowered his eyes and looked away from her.

 

“I realized you were right. Lotor and I are moving too fast and I was so caught up in the rush of a new love and I… I didn’t realize it until I told Lotor about Keith. He got so… angry. Nothing I said could… I realized that this was the first time we had a fight. Who moves in with a guy before having an argument? I wanted to stay in my apartment for another month or two and he got _mad_. I’m mad at him, for what he said, and I’m… just not ready to talk to him yet.”

 

Allura’s anger held firm but he knew something had softened it when she spoke again, her voice noticeably softer. “I’m glad you see that now. I know Lotor can have a temper, and you have the right for space after a fight, but _what_ is Keith doing in your home? It’s just adding fuel to the fire.”

 

“Keith is… He’s more then an ex, Allura, he’s one of my best friends and he needs me. He’s scared and hurt and lonely. If you or Hunk had been the one to show up at my door all beaten up, I wouldn’t hesitate to help you either. Also,” Lance added with a pitiful smile. “this is giving me the chance to get the closure I need. We’ve been talking about how our friendship turned to shit and… it’s nice to finally get answers.”

 

Allura held her guard up, processing the information and insight he had given her, before slowly nodding her head. “Alright, I see where you’re coming from…”

 

Lance’s shoulders dropped and her gave a relieved sigh. “Thank you, Allura. I know it’s a messed up situation and it looks bad, but I just need some space from Lotor to cool down until I’m ready to talk about the fight.”

 

“So you don’t intend to leave Lotor?” Allura asked in a small, hesitant voice.

 

“God no!” Lance exclaimed. “I love Lotor. Keith is… he is my friend, but he’s in the past. He hurt me too badly for those feelings to linger. I’m just taking this opportunity to make things right with him, you know?”

 

Allura relaxed completely, finally at ease. “Oh thank the stars! I was so worried!”

 

Lying to the people he cared about was never something Lance enjoyed doing. It left a sour taste on his tongue and an icky feeling in his guts, but damn could he do it well.

 

-

 

Cleaning wasn’t a thing that Lance enjoyed doing. His dad and older sister claimed that they found cleaning to be relaxing, but Lance had always thought of it as a chore. He made it as fun as he could, turned on music and sang along while washing dishes and folding laundry, but cleaning was still cleaning no matter how much music he played. But his mama had taught him well and he always made sure to reserve at least one day a week to cleaning up his apartment. Having a friend currently splayed across his couch certainly wasn’t going to stop that.

 

If anything, having Keith there for quiet company helped Lance to stay entertained. He mostly played on his phone, but every once in a while Lance could hear him singing quietly with the music or giggling at Lance’s exaggerated dancing.

 

As he currently was doing now.

 

_“To be young and in love in New York City! To not know who I am but still know that I’m good long as you’re here with me!”_

 

Lance struck a dramatic pose, using the top of his broom as a makeshift microphone. He kept alternating between using the broom as a mic or a dance partner or an actual broom while he attempted to sweep his kitchens floor. His methods of cleaning were really making his task longer then necessary, but he loved the song and Keith had been smothering his laughter since he started, so it was worth it.

 

_“I like me better when I’m with you! I like me better when I’m with you!”_

 

The Cuban boy did a quick spin and fumbled when the broom slipped from his hands and clattered to the ground. Lance quickly spun to face Keith and shoot him dual finger-guns as a means of recovery. Keith’s eyes were bright and his grin couldn’t be hidden behind his hand.

 

“Nice save,” he chuckled. Lance laughed at himself and went back to singing, now snapping his fingers along with the song.

 

_“I don’t know what it is but I got that feeling!”_

 

Now without his broom, Lance really threw himself into his dancing. He spun and shimmied his way around the island and into the open living room until he was in front of Keith, who smiled up at him with bright eyes.

 

“Dance with me,” he laughed. He offered a hand to Keith, never stopping his own dancing. “My last partner couldn’t handle these moves.”

 

While Keith was still recovering, he had been more active for the past few days. Coran’s miracle cream had helped with the soreness and it was now a struggle to keep the other boy in bed or on the couch to rest. Lance had come home earlier to find Keith doing push ups in the living room and had almost laughed at his panicked look at being caught.

 

Keith’s eyebrows went up at his offer. “No way, man,” he protested. He was still smiling while he shook his head. “You know I suck at dancing.”

 

“Aww, come on! It’s just little ol’ me here,” Lance said with a pout. “And your good at everything, it’s almost unfair how talented you are.”

 

“I look like a flailing toddler next to you.”

__

Despite his words, Keith still took Lance’s hand and let himself be pulled up from the couch. Lance laughed, happy and loud as can be, and didn’t let go of Keith’s hand while they spun around his living room. Keith laughed along with him when Lance pulled him in closer.

 

“ _I knew from the first time, I’ll stay for a long time cause, I like me better when I’m with you!”_

 

It would be a miracle if one of Lance’s neighbors didn’t complain about all the noise they were making, but for the time being Lance couldn’t care less. He felt almost giddy with how happy he was, dancing around his living room in sweats and messy hair with Keith laughing in his arms.

 

The song came to a close and Lance pulled Keith into a shallow dip for a dramatic finish to their dance. Keith was shaking with laughter while he let his head drop back for the dip. Lance’s laughter was bright and happy and everything Keith had ever wanted. His heart pounded hard in his chest.

 

Lance pulled Keith up from the dip but didn’t let go of him as a new song started, something soft and slow that Keith had never heard before and that he instantly liked. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the sound of the song or if he just associated it with this moment, dancing with Lance. Gone were the dramatic moves and fast spins. Lance kept his arms around Keith’s waist, holding him close while they swayed in slow circles.

 

Keith, for his part, mostly just melted against Lance. He breathed in his scent and soaked in his warmth and savored the feeling of his arms around him. He kept his arms around Lance’s shoulders in a loose hold tucked his face into Lance’s neck and closed his eyes. He listened to the slow piano and decided that yes, he would be quite happy to spend the rest of time like this.

 

Lance buried his face into Keith’s hair, smiling and humming along with the song. He wasn’t sure what they were doing would qualify as dancing anymore, but he didn’t care. His heart wasn’t racing and his pulse wasn’t pounding and his hands weren’t shaking with nerves at having Keith in his arms. He was calm and completely content.

 

Everything felt warm and utterly perfect.

 

It wouldn’t last.

 

The sudden realization stole the warmth from the room for Lance, leaving him cold and his chest feeling hollow.

 

Keith would get better and run out of excuses to stay with Lance. He would return home. Lance would eventually forgive Lotor, make him promise to change and keep a closer eye on him. He would probably try to manipulate Lotor into being a better person while Lotor tried to twist him into seeing the benefits of losing his morals until they met somewhere in the middle. They would live happily with a delicate balance. Keith would eventually stop waiting for Lance to leave Lotor, or maybe he would grow to hate the changes that Lotor and their relationship would bring to Lance. Keith would move on, meet someone new and fall in love.

 

Maybe their friendship would be able to survive even more hardship then they’ve already put it through and maybe it wouldn’t, but this? This moment - slow dancing and holding each other in Lance’s half cleaned apartment feeling like all their dreams had just come true - it would never happen again.

 

So Lance pushed the thought aside, held Keith closer, pressed a kiss into his friends dark hair, and savored the moment like it was his last.

 

-

 

Keith tries to kiss Lance in bed one night.

 

Lance turned his face away.

 

Keith’s lips brushed across his cheek instead of their desired target, but that didn’t stop him. He showered little kisses across Lance’s jaw and lingering ones down the parts of his neck that he could reach. Lance’s breath hitched at the feeling. It was tempting, everything about Keith was tempting. Lance could lay back and let Keith do as he pleased, could let this continue until his brain was too cloudy to think of the consequences and get lost in the pleasure Keith would surly give him.

 

Keith began to move. He shifted them until he was half on top of Lance and began to suck at a spot on his neck that made him shiver and inhale sharply. One of his hands slipped up Lance’s shirt.

 

“No,” Lance said softly. Keith’s hand flinched away from Lance’s skin and his lips left his neck within the same second.

 

Neither of them moved for a minute. Lance’s breath returned to normal and Keith’s body grew tense again. Finally, he let himself fall onto Lance in a full body hug and hid his face against Lance’s throat. Lance brought his arms up to hold Keith in return.

 

“Why?” Keith asked in a small voice. “We both want this, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Lance sighed. It didn’t feel like a defeat to admit it. He still wanted Keith. He still loved Keith despite everything. “But I can’t do that to Lotor.”

 

Lance both felt and heard Keith’s aggravated huff. “Fuck Lotor,” he growled. “I love you and you love me. We’ve worked out our issues and Lotor will leave us alone if he doesn’t want to loose Allura. Nothing is stopping us from being together.

 

“I love him, Keith.”

 

The arms around him tightened until it almost hurt, but Lance didn’t protest. He held Keith just as tightly and brought one of his hands up to stroke his dark hair. He turned to place a kiss to the crown of Keith’s head when his friend started to tremble. Keith calmed himself down after a few minutes.

 

He dropped another soft kiss into Keith’s hair. “I love both of you. I’m sorry, but I do,” Lance said, his voice just as soft as his kiss. “And something tells me you two wouldn’t like sharing so any poly arrangements are off the table.”

 

“Damn right they are,” Keith huffed.

 

Lance smiled for a second, then sobered. They fell into silence again, just enjoying the time spent in each others arms. Lance began playing with Keith’s hair, combing out little tangles and dragging his nails over his scalp gently. Keith all but melted at the feeling, letting out a content sigh and shifting into a more comfortable position for them both.

 

“We could be happy together,” Keith whispered after a few minutes. He sounded like he was half asleep, eyes closed and body warm and relaxed and cuddled into Lance’s side.

 

Lance couldn’t say anything, he just kept petting Keith’s hair and soaking up the affection Keith now gave so freely. Once he was sure Keith was asleep, Lance turned his head and pressed a kiss to Keith’s temple. “Yeah,” he whispered as soft as his kiss. “I know we could.”

 

-

 

One of the things that Lotor knew Lance loved about his apartment was the size of the windows. Lance loved it when a room was filled with natural sunlight and had never bothered to get curtains because of that. He loved the floor to ceiling windows that Lotor had in his penthouse and he especially loved the view from them.

 

Right now, Lotor couldn’t care less about the view of the city at night. He gazed out the windows of his office blankly. He didn’t see the city lights or the inky black sky or his faint reflection staring back at him.  

 

The only thing Lotor could see was the pictures that Ezor had given him. They laid innocently on his desk, spread out enough so he could see them all at once. All the pictures had been taken from a distance and most of them were through Lance’s living room window. A few were through his bedroom window and even less were taken outside of the little apartment.

 

Ezor had captured tender moments in the days following Keith’s beating and Lance’s threats. Lance gently tending to all of Keith’s wounds. Keith dressed in only boxers and Lance’s favorite jacket. Lance throwing away all the gifts Lotor had left for him. The two of them eating together, watching tv together, talking together.

 

Sleeping in Lance’s bed together.

 

Ezor assured him that nothing sexual or explicitly romantic has happened during her time watching Lance. A few innocent kisses had been placed on foreheads and temples and cheeks, but nothing else.

 

The unspoken ‘yet’ was all that Lotor heard.

 

Lotor knew Keith was a problem. He had known it the moment he woke up and heard another mans voice saying that he needed Lance and begging him for one last night together. He had thought that Keith was smart enough to stay away from Lance after his beating in that ally, but he had ran to Lance before the day was done.

 

Lance. His beautiful, compassionate Lance who had been hiding a much more dangerous intellect and charisma then Lotor had at first realized. While he had seen the potential for Lance to become as skilled a manipulator as Lotor himself, he hadn’t seen that Lance was already half way there. Lance had threatened him - __him__ \- and he had hit where Lotor was weakest. He threatened to take away the only people who genuinely loved Lotor.

 

Lotor loved him even more then he had before.

 

His beloved Lance. His goodness was only matched by his potential to be bad. Lotor wanted to bring that out, be the one who taught Lance when to be cruel and when to be kind and how to make the world love you for it. He wanted a future where he ruled the world with Lance by his side.

 

He couldn’t have that as long as Keith was around though.

 

Keith Kogane was __nothing__. He was a college drop out with anger issues who grew up in foster care that would get __no where__  in life. He had nothing to offer Lance but poverty and dept and a relationship filled with constant struggle for trust and affection. He was lucky enough to have somehow gained the heart of the most amazing boy in the world and he __spat__ on it.

 

His Lance didn’t deserve that. Lance deserved to have the world at his feet. Lotor would give him that.

 

But Keith needed to get out of Lance’s life.

 

“Axca,” Lotor said. The girls waited silently for his orders. “Pull up the contact information on Head Officer Iverson at the Galaxy Garrison’s Nevada base.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I've been rereading it for the past five months so everything sounds... dull to me. Please feel free to tell me your thoughts and/or yell at me for making you feel things (I do love those comments)
> 
> The songs that Keith and Lance were dancing to are 'I Like Me Better' by Lauv and 'I Get to Love You' by Ruelle
> 
> You can find my tumblr here: likeaslaptotheface.tumblr.com/


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